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Public Absurdities In Ireland
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Swift's Charity
Irish Humour Home
One cold morning a poor ancient woman sat at the deanery steps a
considerable time, during which the dean saw her through a window, and,
no doubt, commiserated her desolate condition. His footman happened to
go to the door, and the poor creature besought him to give a paper to
his reverence. The servant read it, and told her his master had
something else to do than to mind her petition. What is that you say,
fellow? said the dean, putting his head out of the window; come up
here directly. The man obeyed him, and was ordered to tell the woman to
come up to him. After bidding her to be seated, he directed some bread
and wine to be given to her; after which, turning round to the man, he
said, At what time did I order you to open and read a paper directed to
me? or to refuse a letter from any one? Hark you, sirrah, you have been
admonished by me for drunkenness, idleness, and other faults; but since
I have discovered your inhuman disposition, I must dismiss you from my
service: so pull off your clothes, take your wages, and let me hear no
more of you.
Next: Public Absurdities In Ireland Previous: Swift's Political Principles
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