Cup And Saucer
A GENTLEMAN, who was remarkable at once for Bacchanalian devotion and
remarkably large and starting eyes, was one evening the subject of
conversation. The question appeared to be, whether the gentleman in
question wore upon his face any signs of his excesses. I think so,
said Jerrold; I always know when he has been in his cups by the state
of his saucers.
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Contraband Scotchman
A PERSON was complimenting Mrs. ---- on her acting a certain female character so well. To do justice to that character, replied the lady, modestly, one should be young and handsome.--Nay, madam, replied the gentleman, you are a complete proof of the... Cooke's Explanation Of The Family Plate
AN American braggart told Cooke that his family was amongst the oldest in Maryland. Cooke inquired if he had carefully examined the family plate,--the fetters and handcuffs! ... Cooking His Goose
THE performers rallying Cooke one morning, in the green room, on the awkward cut of a new coat, he apologized, by saying, It was his tailor's fault.--Yes, poor man, said Munden, and his misfortune too! ... Cool As A Cucumber
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HENDERSON, the actor, was seldom known to be in a passion. When at Oxford, he was one day debating with a fellow-student, who, not keeping his temper, threw a glass of wine in the actor's face; when Henderson took out his handkerchief, wiped his fac... Corporation Politeness
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CHARLES THE SECOND once said to Sidney, Look me out a man that can't be corrupted: I have sent three treasurers to the North, and they have all turned thieves.--Well, sire, I will recommend Mivert.--Mivert! exclaimed the king, why, Mivert is a thief... Couleur De Rose
AN officer in full regimentals, apprehensive lest he should come in contact with a chimney-sweep that was pressing towards him, exclaimed, Keep off, you black rascal.--You were as black as me before you were boiled, cried sooty. ... Credit
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A YOUNG author reading a tragedy, perceived his auditor very often pull off his hat at the end of a line, and asked him the reason. I cannot pass a very old acquaintance, replied the critic, without that civility. ... Criticising A Statue
SOON after Canning's statue was put up in Palace Yard, in all its verdant freshness, the carbonate of copper not yet blackened by the smoke of London, Mr. Justice Gazelee was walking away from Westminster Hall with a friend, when the judge, looking ... Critics
LORD BACON, speaking of commentators, critics, &c., said, With all their pretensions, they were only brushers of noblemen's clothes. ... Cromwell
ONE being asked whom it was that he judged to be the chiefest actor in the murder of the king, he answered in this short enigma or riddle:-- The heart of the loaf, and the head of the spring, Is the name of the man that murdered the king. ... Cruel Suggestion
LORD STANLEY came plainly dressed to request a private audience of King James I., but was refused admittance into the royal closet by a sprucely-dressed countryman of the king's. James hearing the altercation between the two, came out and inquired t... Cup And Saucer
A GENTLEMAN, who was remarkable at once for Bacchanalian devotion and remarkably large and starting eyes, was one evening the subject of conversation. The question appeared to be, whether the gentleman in question wore upon his face any signs of his... Cut And Come Again
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A COUNTRY editor thinks that Richelieu, who declared that The pen was mightier than the sword, ought to have spoken a good word for the scissors. Jerrold called scissors an editor's steel-pen. ... Cutting An Acquaintance
GEORGE SELWYN, happening to be at Bath when it was nearly empty, was induced, for the mere purpose of killing time, to cultivate the acquaintance of an elderly gentleman he was in the habit of meeting at the Rooms. In the height of the following sea... Cutting His Coat
WHEN Brummell was the great oracle on coats, the Duke of Leinster was very anxious to bespeak the approbation of the Emperor of the Dandies for a cut which he had just patronized. The Duke, in the course of his eulogy on his Schneider, had frequent ... Cutting Off The Supplies
THE late Duke of York is reported to have once consulted Abernethy. During the time his highness was in the room, the doctor stood before him with his hands in his pockets, waiting to be addressed, and whistling with great coolness. The Duke, natura... Cutting On Both Sides
LORD B----, who sported a ferocious pair of whiskers, meeting Mr. O'Connell in Dublin, the latter said, When do you mean to place your whiskers on the peace establishment?--When you place your tongue on the civil list! was the rejoinder. ... Damped Ardor
JERROLD and Laman Blanchard were strolling together about London, discussing passionately a plan for joining Byron in Greece, when a heavy shower of rain wetted them through. Jerrold, telling the story many years after, said, That shower of rain was... Dangerously Well
LORD BYRON, in reference to a lady he thought ill of, writes, Lady ---- has been dangerously ill; but it may console you to learn that she is dangerously well again. ... Dead Language
AMONG the many English who visited Paris in 1815 was Alderman Wood, who had previously filled the office of Lord Mayor of London. He ordered a hundred visiting cards, inscribing upon them. Alderman Wood, feu Lord Maire de Londres, which he distribut... Dean Swift And King William
THE motto which was inserted under the arms of William, Prince of Orange, on his accession to the English crown, was, Non rapui sed recepi [I did not steal it, but I received it]. This being shown to Dean Swift, he said, with a sarcastic smile, The ... Death And Dr Bolus
MY dart, cried Death, I cannot find, So now I'm quite at sea. Quoth Dr. Bolus, Never mind,-- There, take this recipe. ... Death-bed Forgiveness
A VETERAN Highlander, between whose family and that of a neighboring chieftain had existed a long hereditary feud, being on his death-bed, was reminded that this was the time to forgive all his enemies, even he who had most injured him. Well, be it ... Debtor And Creditor
A TRADESMAN having dunned a customer for a long time, the debtor at last desired his servant one morning to admit him. My friend, said he to him, I think you are a very honest fellow, and I have a great regard for you; therefore, I take this opportu...