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Epigram
(On the oiled and perfumed ringlets of a certain Lord.)
OF miracles this is sans doute the most rare,
I ever perceived, heard reported, or read;
A man with abundance of scents in his hair,
Without the least atom of sense in his head.
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Epigram
LIFE is a lottery where we find That fortune plays full many a prank; And when poor ---- got his mind, 'Twas fortune made him draw a blank. ...
Epigram
(On the alleged disinterestedness of a certain Prelate.) HE says he don't think of himself, And I'm to believe him inclined; For by the confession, the elf Admits that he's out of his mind. ...
Epigram
(On Mr. Croker's reputation for being a wag.) THEY say his wit's refined! Thus is explained The seeming mystery--his wit is strained. ...
Epigram
(On ----'s declaring his detestation of all meanness). IF really ---- do but loathe Things base or mean, I must confess I'd very freely take my oath, Self-love's a fault he don't possess. ...
Epigram
(On Lord ----'s delivering his speeches in a sitting position, owing to excessive gout.) IN asserting that Z. is with villany rife, I very much doubt if the Whigs misreport him; Since two members attached to his person through life,...
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(On ----'s late neglect of his judicial duties.) LORD ----'S left his circuit for a day, Which is to me a mystery profound; He leaves the circuit! he, of whom they say, That he delights in constant turning round. ...
Epigram
A WATCH lost in a tavern! That's a crime; Then see how men by drinking lose their time. The watch kept time; and if time will away, I see no reason why the watch should stay. You say the key hung out, and you failed to lock it; ...
Epigram
(On the sincerity of a certain prelate.) ---- ----'S discourses from his heart Proceed, as everybody owns; And thus they prove the poet's art, Who says that sermons are in stones. ...
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HE that will never look upon an ass, Must lock his door and break his looking-glass. ...
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(On the King's double dealing.) OF such a paradox as this, Before I never dreamt; The King of England has become, A subject of contempt!!! ...
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CRIES Sylvia to a Reverend Dean, What reason can be given, Since marriage is a holy thing, That there are none in Heaven? There are no women, he replied. She quick returns the jest,-- Women there are, but I'm a...
Epigram
(Accounting for the apostacy of ministers.) THE Whigs, because they rat and change To Toryism, all must spurn; Yet in the fact there's nothing strange, That Wigs should twist, or curl, or turn. ...
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WHEN by a jury one is tried, Twelve of his equals are implied; Then W---- might attempt in vain, This sacred privilege to obtain. Since human nature ne'er on earth Gave to twelve equal scoundrels birth. ...
Epigram
(On the oiled and perfumed ringlets of a certain Lord.) OF miracles this is sans doute the most rare, I ever perceived, heard reported, or read; A man with abundance of scents in his hair, Without the least atom of sense in his he...
Epigram
THE jolly members of a toping club Like pipe-staves are, but hooped into a tub; And in a close confederacy link For nothing else, but only to hold drink. ...
Epigram
(On Lord W----'s saying the independence of the House of Lords is gone.) THE independence of the Lords is gone, Says W----, to truth for once inclined; And to believe his lordship I am prone, Seeing that he himself is left behind....
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(On a certain M.P.'s indisposition.) HASTE son of Celsus, P--rc--v--l is ill; Dissect an ass before you try your skill. ...
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(On the charge of illegally pawning brought against Captain B----, M.P.) IF it's true a newly made M.P. Has coolly pawned his landlord's property, As the said landlord certainly alleges, No more will Radicals and Whigs divide ...
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(On a little member's versatility.) WHY little Neddy ---- yearns To rat, there is a reason strong, He needs be everything by turns, Who is by nature nothing long. ...
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THAT Lord ---- owes nothing, one safely may say, For his creditors find he has nothing to pay. ...
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(On ----'s ponderous speeches.) THOUGH Sir Edward has made many speeches of late, The House would most willingly spare them; For it finds they possess such remarkable weight, That it's really a trouble to bear them. ...
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(On Alderman Wood's being afraid to pledge himself even to the principles he has always professed.) SURE in the House he'll do but little good Who lets I dare not, wait upon I WOOD (I would). ...
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(Suggested by hearing a debate in the House of Commons.) TO wonder now at Balaam's ass were weak; Is there a night that asses do not speak? ...
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(On hearing a prosing harangue from a certain Bishop.) WHEN he holds forth, his reverence doth appear So lengthily his subject to pursue, That listeners (out of patience) often fear He has indeed eternity in view. ...
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TWO Harveys had a mutual wish To please in different stations; For one excelled in Sauce for Fish, And one in Meditations. Each had its pungent power applied To aid the dead and dying; This relishes a sole when f...
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THE charity of Closefist give to fame, He has at last subscribed--how much?--his name. ...