Fortunate Stars
MY stars! cried a courtier, with stars and lace twirled,
What homage we nobles command in the world!
True, my lord, said a wag, though the world has its jars,
Some people owe much to their fortunate stars!
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Fire And Water
PADDY being asked if he thought of doing something, which, for his own part, he deemed very unlikely, he said he should as soon think of attempting to light a cigar at a pump. ... Fishing For A Compliment
A YOUNG man having preached for the doctor one day, was anxious to get a word of applause for his labor of love. The grave doctor, however, did not introduce the subject, and his younger brother was obliged to bait the hook for him. I hope, sir, I d... Fishy Rather
LORD ELLENBOROUGH, on his return from Hone's trial, suddenly stopped his carriage at Charing Cross, and said, It occurs to me that they sell the best herrings in London at that shop. Buy six. ... Flattery Turned To Advantage
A DEPENDANT was praising his patron for many virtues which he did not possess. I will do all in my power to prevent you lying, answered he. ... Flying Colors
SIR GODFREY KNELLER latterly painted more for profit than for praise, and is said to have used some whimsical preparations in his colors, which made them work fair and smoothly off, but not endure. A friend, noticing it to him, said, What do you thi... Following A Leader
FRANKLIN, when ambassador to France, being at a meeting of a literary society, and not well understanding the French when declaimed, determined to applaud when he saw a lady of his acquaintance express satisfaction. When they had ceased, a little ch... Foote
AN artist named Forfeit, having some job to do for Foote, got into a foolish scrape about the antiquity of family with another artist, who gave him such a drubbing as confined him to his bed for a considerable time. Forfeit! Forfeit! said Foote, why... Foote And Lord Townsend
FOOTE, dining one day with Lord Townsend, after his duel with Lord Bellamont, the wine being bad, and the dinner ill-dressed, made Foote observe, that he could not discover what reason could compel his lordship to fight, when he might have effected ... Foote's Last Joke
WHEN Foote was on his way to France, for change of air, he went into the kitchen at the inn at Dover, to order a particular dish for dinner. The true English cook boasted that she had never set foot out of her country. On this, the invalid gravely o... Footiana
FOOTE praising the hospitality of the Irish, after one of his trips to the sister kingdom, a gentleman asked him whether he had ever been at Cork. No, sir, replied Foote; but I have seen many drawings of it. ... Foraging
DURING the interregnum after the death of King Charles I., the soldiers were accustomed to visit the theatres and rob the audience, so that it was said to be part of the stage directions,--Enter the Red Coat: Exeunt Hat and Cloak. ... Force Of Habit
A SERVANT of an old maiden lady, a patient of Dr. Poole, formerly of Edinburgh, was under orders to go to the doctor every morning to report the state of her health, how she had slept, &c., with strict injunctions always to add, with her compliments... Force Of Nature
S----'S head appears to be placed in most accurate conformity with the law of nature, in obedience to which that which is most empty is generally uppermost. ... Fortunate Stars
MY stars! cried a courtier, with stars and lace twirled, What homage we nobles command in the world! True, my lord, said a wag, though the world has its jars, Some people owe much to their fortunate stars! ... French Language
WHEN some one was expatiating on the merits of the French language to Mr. Canning, he exclaimed: Why, what on earth, sir, can be expected of a language which has but one word for liking and loving, and puts a fine woman and a leg of mutton on a par:... French Precipitation
THE late Mr. Petion, who was sent over into this country to acquire a knowledge of our criminal law, is said to have declared himself thoroughly informed upon the subject, after remaining precisely two-and-thirty minutes in the Old Bailey. ... Full Inside
CHARLES LAMB, one afternoon, in returning from a dinner-party, took his seat in a crowded omnibus, when a stout gentleman subsequently looked in and politely asked, All full inside?--I don't know how it may be, sir, with the other passengers, answer... Full Proof
LORD PETERBOROUGH was once taken by the mob for the great Duke of Marlborough (who was then in disgrace with them); and being about to be roughly treated, said,--Gentlemen, I can convince you by two reasons that I am not the Duke of Marlborough. In ... Funeral Invitation
SIR BOYLE ROACH had a servant who was as great an original as his master. Two days after the death of the baronet, this man waited upon a gentleman, who had been a most intimate friend of Sir Boyle, for the purpose of telling him that the time at wh... G A'b
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... Gambling
I NEVER by chance hear the rattling of dice that it doesn't sound to me ... Garrick And Foote
THE Lying Valet being one hot night annexed as an afterpiece to the comedy of The Devil upon Two Sticks, Garrick, coming into the Green Room, with exultation called out to Foote, Well, Sam, I see, after all, you are glad to take up with one of my fa... Garth And Rowe
DOCTOR GARTH, who used frequently to go to the Wit's Coffee House, the Cocoa-Tree, in St. James's Street, was sitting there one morning conversing with two persons of rank, when Rowe, the poet, who was seldom very attentive to his dress and appearan...