Leaving His Verdict
I REMEMBER, says Lord Biden, Mr. Justice Gould trying a case at York,
and when he had proceeded for about two hours, he observed, 'Here are
only eleven jurymen in the box, where is the twelfth?'--'Please you, my
lord,' said one of the eleven, 'he has gone away about some other
business--but he has left his verdict with me!'
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Knowing His Man
AN attorney, not celebrated for his probity, was robbed one night on his way from Wicklow to Dublin. His father meeting Baron O'Grady next day, said, My lord, have you heard of my son's robbery?--No, replied the baron; whom did he rob? ... Knowing His Place
AT a grand review by George III. of the Portsmouth fleet in 1789, there was a boy who mounted the shrouds with so much agility as to surprise every spectator. The king particularly noticed it, and said to Lord Lothian, Lothian, I have heard much of ... Lady Anne
AT Portsmouth, during the representation of Richard the Third, on Richard exclaiming, O, take more pity in thine eyes, and see him here, Miss White, who was in Lady Anne, indignantly exclaimed, Would they were battle-axes (basilisks) to strike thee ... Lamb And Erskine
COUNSELLOR LAMB, an old man when Lord Erskine was in the height of his reputation, was of timid and nervous disposition, usually prefacing his pleadings with an apology to that effect; and on one occasion, when opposed, in some cause, to Erskine, he... Lamb And Sharp Sauce
A RETIRED cheesemonger, who hated any allusions to the business that had enriched him, said to Charles Lamb, in course of discussion on the Poor-Laws, You must bear in mind, sir, that I have got rid of that sort of stuff which you poets call the 'mi... Landlord And Tenants
SAYS his landlord to Thomas, Your rent I must raise, I'm so plaguily pinch'd for the pelf. Raise my rent! replies Thomas; your honor's main good; For I never can raise it myself. ... Large But Not Large Enough
THE Rev. William Cole, of Cambridge, nicknamed the Cardinal, was remarkable for what is called a comfortable assurance. Dining in a party at the University, he took up from the table a gold snuff-box, belonging to the gentleman seated next to him, a... Late And Early
THE regular routine of clerkly business ill suited the literary tastes and the wayward habits of Charles Lamb. Once, at the India House, a superior said to him, I have remarked, Mr. Lamb, that you come very late to the office.--Yes, sir, replied the... Late Dinner
SOME one remarking that the dinner hour was always getting later and later, Ay, quoth Rogers, it will soon end in our not dining till to-morrow. ... Latimer
THE pious and learned martyr, and Bishop of Worcester, who was educated at Christ College, Cambridge, and was one of the first reformers of the Church of England, at a controversial conference, being out-talked by younger divines, and out-argued by ... Law And Physic
A LEARNED judge being asked the difference between law and equity courts, replied, At common law you are done for at once: at equity, you are not so easily disposed of. One is prussic acid, and the other laudanum. ... Law And Physic
WHEN Dr. H. and Sergeant A. were walking arm-in-arm, a wag said to a friend, These two are just equal to one highwayman.--Why? was the response. Because it is a lawyer and a doctor--your money or your life. ... Law And The Scottish Thane
DURING the representation of Macbeth, an eminent special pleader graced the boxes of Drury Lane Theatre, to see it performed. When the hero questions the Witches, as to what they are doing: they answer, a deed without a name. Our counsellor, whose a... Lawyer's House
THE lawyer's house, if I have rightly read, Is built upon the fool or madman's head. ... Leaving His Verdict
I REMEMBER, says Lord Biden, Mr. Justice Gould trying a case at York, and when he had proceeded for about two hours, he observed, 'Here are only eleven jurymen in the box, where is the twelfth?'--'Please you, my lord,' said one of the eleven, 'he ha... Leg Wit
ONE night Erskine was hastening out of the House of Commons, when he was stopped by a member going in, who accosted him, Who's up, Erskine?--Windham, was the reply. What's he on?--His legs, answered the wit. ... Legal Adulteration
SEVERAL publicans being assembled at Malton, in Yorkshire, in order to renew their licenses to retail beer, the worthy magistrate addressed one of them (an old woman), and said he trusted she did not put any pernicious ingredients into the liquor; t... Legal Extravagance
HURRAH! Hurrah! cried a young lawyer, who had succeeded to his father's practice, I've settled that old chancery suit at last.--Settled it! cried the astonished parent, why I gave you that as an annuity for your life. ... Liberal Gift
A COMEDIAN at Covent Garden advised one of the scene-shifters, who had met with an accident, to try a subscription; and a few days afterwards he asked for the list of names, which, when he had read over, he returned. Why, sir, says the poor fellow, ... Licensed To Kill
WHEN an inferior actor at the Haymarket once took off David Garrick, Foote limped from the boxes to the green-room, and severely rated him for his impudence. Why, sir, said the fellow, you take him off every day, and why may not I?--Because, replied... Lie For Lie
TWO gentlemen standing together, as a young lady passed by them, one said, There goes the handsomest woman you ever saw. She turned back, and, seeing him very ugly, said, I wish I could, in return, say as much of you.--So you may, madam, said he, an... Light Bread
A BAKER has invented a new kind of yeast. It makes bread so light that a pound of it weighs only twelve ounces. ... Light-headed
DR. BURNEY, who wrote the celebrated anagram on Lord Nelson, after his victory of the Nile, Honor est a Nilo (Horatio Nelson), was shortly after on a visit to his lordship, at his beautiful villa at Merton. From his usual absence of mind, he neglect... Lincoln's-inn Dinners
ON the evening of the coronation-day of our gracious Queen, the Benchers of Lincoln's Inn gave the students a feed; when a certain profane wag, in giving out a verse of the National Anthem, which he was solicited to lead in a solo, took that opportu... Lines To O'keefe
(Said to be written by Peter Pindar.) THEY say, O'Keefe, Thou art a thief, That half thy works are stolen or more; I say O'Keefe, Thou art no thief, Such stuff was never writ before! ... Lingual Infection
A FASHIONABLE Irish gentleman, driving a good deal about Cheltenham, was observed to have the not very graceful habit of lolling his tongue out as he went along. Curran, who was there, was asked what he thought could be his countryman's motive for g... Liquid Remedy For Baldness
USE brandy externally until the hair grows, and then take it internally to clinch the roots. ... Liston's Dream
AS Liston lay wrapt in delicious repose, Most harmoniously playing a tune with his nose, In a dream there appeared the adorable Venus, Who said, To be sure there's no likeness between us; Yet to show a celestial to kindness so p...