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Spare The Rod
A SCHOOLBOY being asked by the teacher how he should flog him, replied, If you please, sir, I should like to have it upon the Italian system--the heavy strokes up-wards, and the down ones light. ...
Speaking Of Sausages
MR. SMITH passed a pork-shop the other day,--Mr. Smith whistled. The moment he did this, every sausage wagged its tail. As a note to this, we would mention that the day before he lost a Newfoundland dog, that weighed sixty-eight pounds. ...
Special Pleading
WHEN a very eminent special pleader was asked by a country gentleman if he considered that his son was likely to succeed as a special pleader, he replied, Pray, sir, can your son eat saw-dust without butter? ...
Species And Specie
IN preaching a charity sermon, Sydney Smith frequently repeated the assertion that, of all nations, Englishmen were most distinguished for their generosity, and the love of their species. The collection happened to be inferior to his expectation, an...
Specimen Of The Laconic
BE less prolix, says Grill. I like advice. Grill, you're an ass! Now, surely, that's concise. ...
Spirit Of A Gambler
A BON-VIVANT, brought to his death-bed by an immoderate use of wine, after having been told that he could not in all human probability survive many hours, and would die by eight o clock next morning, exerted the small remains of his strength to call...
Spiritual And Spirituous
DR. PITCAIRN had one Sunday stumbled into a Presbyterian church, probably to beguile a few idle moments (for few will accuse that gentleman of having been a warm admirer of Calvinism), and seeing the parson apparently overwhelmed by the importance o...
Spranger Barry
THIS celebrated actor was, perhaps, in no part so excellent as that of Romeo, for which he was particularly fitted by an uncommonly handsome and commanding person, and a silver-toned voice. At the time that he attracted the town to Covent Garden by ...
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St Peter A Bachelor
IN the list of benefactors to Peter-House is Lady Mary Ramsay, who is reported to have offered a very large property, nearly equal to a new foundation to this college, on condition that the name should be changed to Peter and Mary's; but she was thw...
Steam-boat Racing
SIR CHARLES LYELL, when in the United States, received the following advice from a friend: When you are racing with an opposition steam-boat, or chasing her, and the other passengers are cheering the captain, who is sitting on the safety-valve to ke...
Sterne
SOME person remarked to him that apothecaries bore the same relation to physicians that attorneys do to barristers. So they do, said Sterne; but apothecaries and attorneys are not alike, for the latter do not deal in scruples. ...
Stone Blind
LORD BYRON'S valet (Mr. Fletcher) grievously excited his master's ire by observing, while Byron was examining the remains of Athens, La me, my lord, what capital mantelpieces that marble would make in England! ...
Strange Jetsum
A THIN old man, with a rag-bag in his hand, was picking up a number of small pieces of whalebone which lay on the street. The deposit was of such a singular nature, that we asked the quaint-looking gatherer how he supposed they came there. Don't kno...
Strange Vespers
A MAN who had a brother, a priest, was asked, Has your brother a living?--No.--How does he employ himself?--He says mass in the morning.--And in the evening?--In the evening he don't know what he says. ...
Striking Reproof
IT being reported that Lady Caroline Lamb had, in a moment of passion, knocked down one of her pages with a stool, the poet Moore, to whom this was told by Lord Strangford, observed: Oh! nothing is more natural for a literary lady than to double dow...