Most Viewed

After Dinner Speeches
Liars
Thin People
Employers And Employees
Courage
Forgetfulness
Faith
Guests
Honesty
Coffee


Least Viewed

Surprise
Fountain Pens
West, The
Minorities
Synonyms
Attention
Chicago
Mollycoddles
Republican Party
Mathematics




Armies

Joke Topics Home




A new volunteer at a national guard encampment who had not quite learned
his business, was on sentry duty, one night, when a friend brought a pie
from the canteen.

As he sat on the grass eating pie, the major sauntered up in undress
uniform. The sentry, not recognizing him, did not salute, and the major
stopped and said:

"What's that you have there?"

"Pie," said the sentry, good-naturedly. "Apple pie. Have a bite?"

The major frowned.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked.

"No," said the sentry, "unless you're the major's groom."

The major shook his head.

"Guess again," he growled.

"The barber from the village?"

"No."

"Maybe"--here the sentry laughed--"maybe you're the major himself?"

"That's right. I am the major," was the stern reply.

The sentry scrambled to his feet.

"Good gracious!" he exclaimed. "Hold the pie, will you, while I present
arms!"


The battle was going against him. The commander-in-chief, himself ruler
of the South American republic, sent an aide to the rear, ordering
General Blanco to bring up his regiment at once. Ten minutes passed; but
it didn't come. Twenty, thirty, and an hour--still no regiment. The aide
came tearing back hatless, breathless.

"My regiment! My regiment! Where is it? Where is it?" shrieked the
commander.

"General," answered the excited aide, "Blanco started it all right, but
there are a couple of drunken Americans down the road and they won't let
it go by."


An army officer decided to see for himself how his sentries were doing
their duty. He was somewhat surprised at overhearing the following:

"Halt! Who goes there?"

"Friend--with a bottle."

"Pass, friend. Halt, bottle."


"A war is a fearful thing," said Mr. Dolan.

"It is," replied Mr. Rafferty. "When you see the fierceness of members
of the army toward one another, the fate of a common enemy must be
horrible."


_See also_ Military Discipline.





Next: ARMY RATIONS

Previous: ARITHMETIC



Add to Informational Site Network
Report
Privacy
ADD TO EBOOK


Viewed 2791





Random Joke Topics

Negroes
Allowances
Superstition
Neighbors
Opera
Diagnosis
Fishermen
Attention
Guests
New Jersey
Obesity
Degrees
Faith
Taste
Public Speakers
Time
Tutors
Transmutation
Prisons
Compromises
Orators
Fire Departments
Hosts
Alternatives
Inspirations