Most Viewed

After Dinner Speeches
Liars
Thin People
Employers And Employees
Courage
Forgetfulness
Faith
Guests
Honesty
Coffee


Least Viewed

Synonyms
Attention
Description
Republican Party
Subways
Reconciliations
Steamships And Steamboats
Clothing
Fountain Pens
Marks(wo)manship




Automobiles

Joke Topics Home




TEACHER--"If a man saves $2 a week, how long will it take him to save a
thousand?"

BOY--"He never would, ma'am. After he got $900 he'd buy a car."


"How fast is your car, Jimpson?" asked Harkaway.

"Well," said Jimpson, "it keeps about six months ahead of my income
generally."


"What is the name of your automobile?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know? What do your folks call it?"

"Oh, as to that, father always says 'The Mortgage'; brother Tom calls it
'The Fake'; mother, 'My Limousine'; sister, 'Our Car'; grandma, 'That
Peril'; the chauffeur, 'Some Freak,' and our neighbors, 'The
Limit.'"--_Life_.


"What little boy can tell me the difference between the 'quick' and the
'dead?'" asked the Sunday-school teacher.

Willie waved his hand frantically.

"Well, Willie?"

"Please, ma'am, the 'quick' are the ones that get out of the way of
automobiles; the ones that don't are the 'dead.'"


"Do you have much trouble with your automobile?"

"Trouble! Say, I couldn't have more if I was married to the blamed
machine."


A little "Brush" chugged painfully up to the gate of a race track.

The gate-keeper, demanding the usual fee for automobiles, called:

"A dollar for the car!"

The owner looked up with a pathetic smile of relief and said:

"Sold!"


Autos rush in where mortgages have dared to tread.


_See also_ Fords; Profanity.





Next: AUTOMOBILING

Previous: AUTHORS



Add to Informational Site Network
Report
Privacy
ADD TO EBOOK


Viewed 2644





Random Joke Topics

Pleasure
Musicians
Saving
Fighting
Hades
Insurance, Life
Reminders
Rapid Transit
Business Enterprise
Degrees
Talent
Proposals
Diet
Graft
Coffee
Dyspepsia
Boston
Foresight
Baths And Bathing
Temper
Campaigns
Rheumatism
Egotism
England
Opportunity