Courts

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One day when old Thaddeus Stevens was practicing in the courts he didn't
like the ruling of the presiding Judge. A second time when the Judge
ruled against "old Thad," the old man got up with scarlet face and
quivering lips and commenced tying up his papers as if to quit the
courtroom.

"Do I understand, Mr. Stevens," asked the Judge, eying "old Thad"
indignantly, "that you wish to show your contempt for this court?"

"No, sir; no, sir," replied "old Thad." "I don't want to show my
contempt, sir; I'm trying to conceal it."

"It's all right to fine me, Judge," laughed Barrowdale, after the
proceedings were over, "but just the same you were ahead of me in your
car, and if I was guilty you were too."

"Ya'as, I know," said the judge with a chuckle, "I found myself guilty
and hev jest paid my fine into the treasury same ez you."

"Bully for you!" said Barrowdale. "By the way, do you put these fines
back into the roads?"

"No," said the judge. "They go to the trial jestice in loo o' sal'ry."

A stranger came into an Augusta bank the other day and presented a check
for which he wanted the equivalent in cash.

"Have to be identified," said the clerk.

The stranger took a bunch of letters from his pocket all addressed to
the same name as that on the check.

The clerk shook his head.

The man thought a minute and pulled out his watch, which bore the name
on its inside cover.

Clerk hardly glanced at it.

The man dug into his pockets and found one of those
"If-I-should-die-tonight-please-notify-my-wife" cards, and called the
clerk's attention to the description, which fitted to a T.

But the clerk was still obdurate.

"Those things don't prove anything," he said. "We've got to have the
word of a man that we know."

"But, man, I've given you an identification that would convict me of
murder in any court in the land."

"That's probably very true," responded the clerk, patiently, "but in
matters connected with the bank we have to be more careful."

_See also_ Jury; Witnesses.

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