DINING


A twelve course dinner might be described as a gastronomic

marathon.--_John E. Rosser_.





"That was the spirit of your uncle that made that table stand, turn

over, and do such queer stunts."



"I am not surprised; he never did have good table manners."





"Chakey, Chakey," called the big sister as she stood in the doorway and

looked down the street toward t
e group of small boys: "Chakey, come in

alreaty and eat youseself. Maw she's on the table and Paw he's half et."





There was a young lady of Cork,

Whose Pa made a fortune in pork;

He bought for his daughter

A tutor who taught her

To balance green peas on her fork.





An anecdote about Dr. Randall Davidson, bishop of Winchester, is that

after an ecclesiastical function, as the clergy were trooping in to

luncheon, an unctuous archdeacon observed: "This is the time to put a

bridle on our appetites!"



"Yes," replied the bishop, "this is the time to put a bit in our

mouths!"--_Christian Life_.





There was a young lady named Maud,

A very deceptive young fraud;

She never was able

To eat at the table,

But out in the pantry--O Lord!





"Father's trip abroad did him so much good," said the self-made man's

daughter. "He looks better, feels better, and as for appetite--honestly,

it would just do your heart good to hear him eat!"





Whistler, the artist, was one day invited to dinner at a friend's house

and arrived at his destination two hours late.



"How extraordinary!" he exclaimed, as he walked into the dining-room

where the company was seated at the table; "really, I should think you

might have waited a bit--why, you're just like a lot of pigs with your

eating!"





A macaroon,

A cup of tea,

An afternoon,

Is all that she

Will eat;

She's in society.



But let me take

This maiden fair

To some café,

And, then and there,

She'll eat the whole

Blame bill of fare.



--_The Mystic Times_.





The small daughter of the house was busily setting the tables for

expected company when her mother called to her:



"Put down three forks at each place, dear."



Having made some observations on her own account when the expected

guests had dined with her mother before, she inquired thoughtfully:



"Shall I give Uncle John three knives?"





For a man seldom thinks with more earnestness of anything than he does

of his dinner--_Samuel Johnson_.



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