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At the birth of President Cleveland's second child no scales could be
found to weigh the baby. Finally the scales that the President always
used to weigh the fish he caught on his trips were brought up from the
cellar, and the child was found to weigh twenty-five pounds.
"Doin' any good?" asked the curious individual on the bridge.
"Any good?" answered the fisherman, in the creek below. "Why I caught
forty bass out o' here yesterday."
"Say, do you know who I am?" asked the man on the bridge.
The fisherman replied that he did not.
"Well, I am the county fish and game warden."
The angler, after a moment's thought, exclaimed, "Say, do you know who I
"No," the officer replied.
"Well, I'm the biggest liar in eastern Indiana," said the crafty angler,
with a grin.
A young lady who had returned from a tour through Italy with her father
informed a friend that he liked all the Italian cities, but most of all
he loved Venice.
"Ah, Venice, to be sure!" said the friend. "I can readily understand
that your father would like Venice, with its gondolas, and St. Markses
"Oh, no," the young lady interrupted, "it wasn't that. He liked it
because he could sit in the hotel and fish from the window."
Smith the other day went fishing. He caught nothing, so on his way back
home he telephoned to his provision dealer to send a dozen of bass
around to his house.
He got home late himself. His wife said to him on his arrival:
"Well, what luck?"
"Why, splendid luck, of course," he replied. "Didn't the boy bring that
dozen bass I gave him?"
Mrs. Smith started. Then she smiled.
"Well, yes, I suppose he did," she said. "There they are."
And she showed poor Smith a dozen bottles of Bass's ale.
"You'll be a man like one of us some day," said the patronizing
sportsman to a lad who was throwing his line into the same stream.
"Yes, sir," he answered, "I s'pose I will some day, but I b'lieve I'd
rather stay small and ketch a few fish."
The more worthless a man, the more fish he can catch.
As no man is born an artist, so no man is born an angler.--_Izaak
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Weights And Measures