FOOD

A man went into a southern restaurant not long ago and asked for a piece

of old-fashioned Washington pie. The waiter, not understanding and yet

unwilling to concede his lack of knowledge, brought the customer a piece

of chocolate cake.



"No, no, my friend," said the smiling man. "I meant _George_ Washington,

not _Booker_ Washington."





One day a pastor was calling upon a dear old ady, one of the "pillars"

of the church to which they both belonged. As he thought of her long and

useful life, and looked upon her sweet, placid countenance bearing but

few tokens of her ninety-two years of earthly pilgrimage, he was moved

to ask her, "My dear Mrs. S., what has been the chief source of your

strength and sustenance during all these years? What has appealed to you

as the real basis of your unusual vigor of mind and body, and has been

to you an unfailing comfort through joy and sorrow? Tell me, that I may

pass the secret on to others, and, if possible, profit by it myself."



The old lady thought a moment, then lifting her eyes, dim with age, yet

kindling with sweet memories of the past, answered briefly,

"Victuals."--_Sarah L. Tenney_.





A girl reading in a paper that fish was excellent brain-food wrote to

the editor:



_Dear Sir_: Seeing as you say how fish is good for the brains, what kind

of fish shall I eat?



To this the editor replied:



_Dear Miss_: Judging from the composition of your letter I should advise

you to eat a whale.





A hungry customer seated himself at a table in a quick-lunch restaurant

and ordered a chicken pie. When it arrived he raised the lid and sat

gazing at the contents intently for a while. Finally he called the

waiter.



"Look here, Sam," he said, "what did I order?"



"Chicken pie, sah."



"And what have you brought me?"



"Chicken pie, sah."



"Chicken pie, you black rascal!" the customer replied. "Chicken pie?

Why, there's not a piece of chicken in it, and never was."



"Dat's right, boss--dey ain't no chicken in it."



"Then why do you call it chicken pie? I never heard of such a thing."



"Dat's all right, boss. Dey don't have to be no chicken in a chicken

pie. Dey ain't no dog in a dog biscuit, is dey?"





_See also_ Dining.