DOCTOR--"Well, yes; I get a pretty good fee. Why?"



LADY--"Well, I hope you won't forget that my Willie threw the brick that

hit 'im!"





Every man has his price, but some hold bargain sales.--_Satire_.





The Democrats had a clear working majority in ----, Illinois, for a

number of years. But when the Fifteenth Amendment went into effect it

enfranchised so many of the "culled bredren" as to make it apparent to

the party leaders that unless a good many black votes could be bought

up, the Republicans would carry the city election. Accordingly advances

were made to the Rev. Brother ----, whose influence it was thought

desirable to secure, inasmuch as he was certain to control the votes of

his entire church.



He was found "open to conviction," and arrangements progressed

satisfactorily until it was asked how much money would be necessary to

secure his vote and influence.



With an air of offended dignity, Brother ---- replied:



"Now, gemmen, as a regular awdained minister ob de Baptist Church dis

ting has gone jes as far as my conscience will 'low; but, gemmen, my son

will call round to see you in de mornin'."





A well-known New York contractor went into the tailor's, donned his new

suit, and left his old one for repairs. Then he sought a café and

refreshed the inner man; but as he reached in his pocket for the money

to settle his check, he realized that he had neglected to transfer both

purse and watch when he left his suit. As he hesitated, somewhat

embarrassed, he saw a bill on the floor at his feet. Seizing it

thankfully, he stepped to the cashier's desk and presented both check

and money.



"That was a two dollar bill," he explained when he counted his change.



"I know it," said the cashier, with a toss of her blond head. "I'm

dividing with you. I saw it first."