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Jews

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What is the difference between a banana and a Jew? You can skin the
banana.


He was quite evidently from the country and he was also quite evidently
a Yankee, and from behind his bowed spectacles he peered inquisitively
at the little oily Jew who occupied the other half of the car seat with
him.

The little Jew looked at him deprecatingly. "Nice day," he began
politely.

"You're a Jew, ain't you?" queried the Yankee.

"Yes, sir, I'm a clothing salesman," handing him a card.

"But you're a Jew?"

"Yes, yes, I'm a Jew," came the answer.

"Well," continued the Yankee, "I'm a Yankee, and in the little village
in Maine where I come from I'm proud to say there ain't a Jew."

"Dot's why it's a village," replied the little Jew quietly.


The men were arguing as to who was the greatest inventor. One said
Stephenson, who invented the locomotive. Another declared it was the man
who invented the compass. Another contended for Edison. Still another
for the Wrights,

Finally one of them turned to a little man who had remained silent:

"Who do you think?"

"Vell," he said, with a hopeful smile, "the man who invented interest
was no slouch."


Levinsky, despairing of his life, made an appointment with a famous
specialist. He was surprised to find fifteen or twenty people in the
waiting-room.

After a few minutes he leaned over to a gentleman near him and
whispered, "Say, mine frient, this must be a pretty goot doctor, ain't
he?"

"One of the best," the gentleman told him.

Levinsky seemed to be worrying over something.

"Vell, say," he whispered again, "he must be pretty exbensive, then,
ain't he? Vat does he charge?"

The stranger was annoyed by Levinsky's questions and answered rather
shortly: "Fifty dollars for the first consultation and twenty-five
dollars for each visit thereafter."

"Mine Gott!" gasped Levinsky--"Fifty tollars the first time und
twenty-five tollars each time afterwards!"

For several minutes he seemed undecided whether to go or to wait. "Und
twenty-five tollars each time afterwards," he kept muttering. Finally,
just as he was called into the office, he was seized with a brilliant
inspiration. He rushed toward the doctor with outstretched hands.

"Hello, doctor," he said effusively. "Vell, here I am _again_."


The Jews are among the aristocracy of every land; if a literature is
called rich in the possession of a few classic tragedies what shall we
say to a national tragedy lasting for fifteen hundred years, in which
the poets and the actors were also the heroes.--_George Eliot_.


_See also_ Failures; Fires.





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