MEDICINE

The farmer's mule had just balked in the road when the country doctor

came by. The farmer asked the physician if he could give him something

to start the mule. The doctor said he could, and, reaching down into his

medicine case, gave the animal some powders. The mule switched his tail,

tossed his head and started on a mad gallop down the road. The farmer

looked first at the flying animal and then at the doctor.


br /> "How much did that medicine cost, Doc?" he asked.



"Oh, about fifteen cents," said the physician.



"Well, give me a quarter's worth, quick!" And he swallowed it. "I've got

to catch that mule."





"I hope you are following my instructions carefully, Sandy--the pills

three times a day and a drop of whisky at bedtime."



"Weeel, sir, I may be a wee bit behind wi' the pills, but I'm about six

weeks in front wi' the whusky."





Rarely has a double meaning turned with more deadly effect upon an

innocent perpetrator than in an advertisement lately appearing in a

western newspaper. He wrote: "Wanted--a gentleman to undertake the sale

of a patent medicine. The advertiser guarantees it will be profitable to

the undertaker."





I firmly believe that if the whole _materia medico_ could be sunk to the

bottom of the sea, it would be all the better for mankind and all the

worse for the fishes.--_O.W. Holmes_.





A man's own observation, what he finds good of, and what he finds hurt

of, is the best physic to preserve health.--_Bacon_.