After Dinner Speeches
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"Uncle Mose," said a drummer, addressing an old colored man seated on a
drygoods box in front of the village store, "they tell me that you
remember seeing George Washington--am I mistaken?"
"No, sah," said Uncle Mose. "I uster 'member seein' him, but I done
fo'got sence I jined de chu'ch."
A noted college president, attending a banquet in Boston, was surprised
to see that the darky who took the hats at the door gave no checks in
"He has a most wonderful memory," a fellow diner explained. "He's been
doing that for years and prides himself upon never having made a
As the college president was leaving, the darky passed him his hat.
"How do you know that this one is mine?"
"I don't know it, suh," admitted the darky.
"Then why do you give it to me?"
"'Cause yo' gave it to me, suh."
"Tommy," said his mother reprovingly, "what did I say I'd do to you if I
ever caught you stealing jam again?"
Tommy thoughtfully scratched his head with his sticky fingers.
"Why, that's funny, ma, that you should forget it, too. Hanged if I can
remember." Smith is a young New York lawyer, clever in many ways, but
very forgetful. He was recently sent to St. Louis to interview an
important client in regard to a case then pending in the Missouri
courts. Later the head of his firm received this telegram from St.
"Have forgotten name of client. Please wire at once."
This was the reply sent from New York:
"Client's name Jenkins. Your name Smith."
When time who steals our years away
Shall steal our pleasures too,
The mem'ry of the past will stay
And half our joys renew.
The heart hath its own memory, like the mind,
And in it are enshrined
The precious keepsakes, into which is wrought
The giver's loving thought.
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