MULES
Gen. O.O. Howard, as is well known, is a man of deep religious
principles, and in the course of the war he divided his time pretty
equally between fighting and evangelism. Howard's brigade was known all
through the army as the Christian brigade, and he was very proud of it.
There was one hardened old sinner in the brigade, however, whose ears
were deaf to all exhortation. General Howard was particularly anxious to
convert this man, and one day he went down in the teamsters' part of the
camp where the man was on duty. He talked with him long and earnestly
about religion and finally said:
"I want to see you converted. Won't you come to the mourners' bench at
the next service?"
The erring one rubbed his head thoughtfully for a moment and then
replied:
"General, I'm plumb willin' to be converted, but if I am, seein' that
everyone else has got religion, who in blue blazes is goin' to drive the
mules?"