After Dinner Speeches
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Politics consists of two sides and a fence.
If I were asked to define politics in relation to the British public, I
should define it as a spasm of pain recurring once in every four or five
LITTLE CLARENCE (who has an inquiring mind)--"Papa, the Forty Thieves--"
MR. CALLIPERS--"Now, my son, you are too young to talk
"Many a man," remarked the milk toast philosopher, "has gone into
politics with a fine future, and come out with a terrible past." Lord
Dufferin delivered an address before the Greek class of the McGill
University about which a reporter wrote:
"His lordship spoke to the class in the purest ancient Greek, without
mispronouncing a word or making the slightest grammatical solecism."
"Good heavens!" remarked Sir Hector Langevin to the late Sir John A.
Macdonald, "how did the reporter know that!"
"I told him," was the Conservative statesman's answer.
"But you don't know Greek."
"True; but I know a little about politics."
Little Millie's father and grandfather were Republicans; and, as
election drew near, they spoke of their opponents with increasing
warmth, never heeding Millie's attentive ears and wondering eyes.
One night, however, as the little maid was preparing for bed, she
whispered in a frightened voice: "Oh, mamma, I don't dare to go
upstairs. I'm afraid there's a Democrat under the bed."
"The shortest after-dinner speech I ever heard," said Cy Warman, the
poet, "was at a dinner in Providence."
"A man was assigned to the topic, 'The Christian in Politics.' When he
was called upon he arose, bowed and said: 'Mr. Chairman, ladies and
gentlemen: The Christian in Politics--he ain't.'"
Politics is but the common pulse-beat of which revolution is the fever
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