After Dinner Speeches
Employers And Employees
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MISTRESS--"Did the mustard plaster do you any good, Bridget?"
MAID--"Yes; but, begorry, mum, it do bite the tongue!"
SUFFERER--"I have a terrible toothache and want something to cure it."
FRIEND--"Now, you don't need any medicine. I had a toothache yesterday
and I went home and my loving wife kissed me and so consoled me that the
pain soon passed away. Why don't you try the same?"
SUFFERER--"I think I will. Is your wife at home now?"
For every ill beneath the sun
There is some remedy or none;
If there be one, resolve to find it;
If not, submit, and never mind it.
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