After Dinner Speeches
Employers And Employees
Joke Topics Home
A Philadelphian, on his way to Europe, was experiencing seasickness for
the first time. Calling his wife to his bedside, he said in a weak
voice: "Jennie, my will is in the Commercial Trust Company's care.
Everything is left to you, dear. My various stocks you will find in my
safe-deposit box." Then he said fervently: "And, Jenny, bury me on the
other side. I can't stand this trip again, alive or dead."--_Joe King_.
Motto for the dining saloon of an ocean steamship: "Man wants but little
here below, nor wants that little long."
On the steamer the little bride was very much concerned about her
husband, who was troubled with dyspepsia.
"My husband is peculiarly liable to seasickness, Captain," remarked the
bride. "Could you tell him what to do in case of an attack?"
"That won't be necessary, Madam," replied the Captain; "he'll do it."
A clergyman who was holding a children's service at a Continental winter
resort had occasion to catechize his hearers on the parable, of the
unjust steward. "What is a steward?" he asked.
A little boy who had arrived from England a few days before held up his
hand. "He is a man, sir," he replied, with a reminiscent look on his
face, "who brings you a basin."
"The first day out was perfectly lovely," said the young lady just back
from abroad. "The water was as smooth as glass, and it was simply
gorgeous. But the second day was rough and--er--decidedly disgorgeous."
The great ocean liner rolled and pitched.
"Henry," faltered the young bride, "do you still love me?"
"More than ever, darling!" was Henry's fervent answer.
Then there was an eloquent silence.
"Henry," she gasped, turning her pale, ghastly face away, "I thought
that would make me feel better, but it doesn't!"
There was a young man from Ostend,
Who vowed he'd hold out to the end;
But when half way over
From Calais to Dover,
He did what he didn't intend.
Previous: SCOTCH, THE
Random Joke Topics
Medical Inspection Of Schools