Spite

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Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something
more aggraviting than if you spoke right out at once.

A man had for years employed a steady German workman. One day Jake came
to him and asked to be excused from work the next day.

"Certainly, Jake," beamed the employer. "What are you going to do?"

"Vall," said Jake slowly. "I tink I must go by mein wife's funeral. She
dies yesterday."

After the lapse of a few weeks Jake again approached his boss for a day
off.

"All right, Jake, but what are you going to do this time?"

"Aber," said Jake, "I go to make me, mit mein fräulein, a wedding."

"What? So soon? Why, it's only been three weeks since you buried your
wife."

"Ach!" replied Jake, "I don't hold spite long."

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