Most Viewed

After Dinner Speeches
Liars
Thin People
Employers And Employees
Courage
Forgetfulness
Faith
Guests
Honesty
Coffee


Least Viewed

Fountain Pens
Surprise
Synonyms
West, The
Mollycoddles
Chicago
Minorities
Rehearsals
Marks(wo)manship
Proportion




Texts

Joke Topics Home




In the Tennessee mountains a mountaineer preacher, who had declared
colleges "the works of the devil," was preaching without previous
meditation an inspirational sermon from the text, "The voice of the
turtle shall be heard in the land." Not noting that the margin read
"turtle-dove," he proceeded in this manner:

"This text, my hearers, strikes me as one of the most peculiar texts in
the whole book, because we all know that a turtle ain't got no voice.
But by the inward enlightenment I begin to see the meaning and will
expose it to you. Down in the hollers by the streams and ponds you have
gone in the springtime, my brethren, and observed the little turtles,
a-sleeping on the logs. But at the sound of the approach of a human
being, they went _kerflop-kerplunk_, down into the water. This I say,
then, is the meaning of the prophet: he, speakinging figgeratively,
referred to the _kerflop_ of the turtle as the _voice_ of the turtle,
and hence we see that in those early times the prophet, looking down at
the ages to come, clearly taught and prophesied the doctrine I have
always preached to this congregation--_that immersion is the only form
of baptism."_


John D. Rockefeller, Jr., once asked a clergyman to give him an
appropriate Bible verse on which to base an address which he was to make
at the latter's church.

"I was thinking," said young Rockefeller, "that I would take the verse
from the Twenty-third Psalm: 'The Lord is my shepherd.' Would that seem
appropriate?"

"Quite," said the clergyman; "but do you really want an appropriate
verse?"

"I certainly do," was the reply.

"Well, then," said the clergyman, with a twinkle in his eye, "I would
select the verse in the same Psalm: 'Thou anointest my head with oil; my
cup runneth over.'"





Next: THEATER

Previous: TEXAS



Add to Informational Site Network
Report
Privacy
ADD TO EBOOK


Viewed 2924





Random Joke Topics

Governors
Jokes
Umbrellas
Political Parties
West, The
Baggage
Faith
Printers
News
Imagination
Food
Speculation
Weather
Living
Opera
Shyness
Recall
Wedding Anniversaries
Wealth
Altruism
Weights And Measures
Infants
Matrimony
Wages
Making Good