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Witnesses

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"The trouble is," said Wilkins as he talked the matter over with his
counsel, "that in the excitement of the moment I admitted that I had
been going too fast, and wasn't paying any attention to the road just
before the collision. I'm afraid that admission is going to prove
costly."

"Don't wory about that," said his lawyer. "I'll bring seven witnesses
to testify that they wouldn't believe you under oath."


On his eighty-fourth birthday, Paul Smith, the veteran Adirondock
hotel-keeper, who started life as a guide and died owning a million
dollars' worth of forest land, was talking about boundary disputes
with an old friend.

"Didn't you hear of the lawsuit over a title that I had with Jones
down in Malone last summer?" asked Paul. The friend had not heard.

"Well," said Paul, "it was this way. I sat in the court room before
the case opened with my witnesses around me. Jones busted in, stopped,
looked my witnesses over carefully, and said: 'Paul, are those your
witnesses?' 'They are,' said I. 'Then you win,' said he. 'I've had
them witnesses twice myself.'"





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