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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




A man wanted a ticket to New York and only had a $2 bill

Puns Home









A man wanted a ticket to New York, and only had a $2 bill. It

required $3 to get the ticket. He took the $2 bill to a pawnshop,

pawned it for $1.50. On his way back to the depot he met a

friend, to whom he sold the pawn ticket for $1.50. That gave him

$3. Now, who's out that dollar?











Next: Is a howling dog a sign of death

Previous: JACK--My wife's a fine shot



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Puns

A Farmer Once Called His Cow Zephyr She Seemed Such An Amiable Hephyr
Held By The Enemy--the Ulster Which We Are Unable To Redeem
Tom--what's That
Two Irish Farmers Who Had Not Seen Each Other For A Long Time Met At A Fair
I Wonder What The Holes In A Porous Plaster Are For
It Doesn't Do Any Good To Scold The Janitor About Our Cold Rooms
Visitor--i Suppose You Have A Great Deal Of Poetry Sent Into You For Publication
Actor Friend (inquiring At Boarding House)--has Mr
Do You Believe In Transmigration Of Souls
Mary Had A Little Lamb But She Thought It Was Immense: With New Green Peas And Other Things It Cost Her Ninety Cents
Firemen As Well As Other People Like To Talk Of Their Flames
A Man Who Drives Away Customers--the Cabman
Dearest Whispered Cordelia After She Had Captured The Coveted Solitaire I Have A Confession To Make
I Will Not Sit That Way
Here's An Account Of A Hen Which Layed Three Eggs At Once And Then Died Remarked Mrs
Tommy--pa Did You Really Mean It When You Said You'd Spank Anyone That Broke That Vase
Did Your Sweetheart Receive You Warmly Last Night
Askit-what Is A Convenient Fall Trip For Me To Take
No Indeed She Said I Can Never Be Your Wife
Lady (after The Tramp Finishes Eating)--it's Merely A Suggestion--the Woodpile Is In The Back Yard
A Lady One Day Being In Need Of Some Small Change Called Down-stairs To The Cook And Enquired: Mary Have You Any 'coppers' Down There
Women My Boy Said A Parent To His Son Are A Delusion And A Snare
Judge--you Are Charged With Profanity
Do You Go To Church To Hear The Sermon Or The Music Maude
I Hear Smith The Sea Captain Is In Hard Luck