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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




About the only time my tailor gives his customers regular fit said Buttons is when they neglect to pay their bills

Puns Home











"About the only time my tailor gives his customers regular fit,"

said Buttons, "is when they neglect to pay their bills."











Next: A man with the heart disease is about the only chap who desires a regular beat for a bosom friend

Previous: GUEST--Look here waiter do you call this a spring chicken



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Puns

Two Irish Farmers Who Had Not Seen Each Other For A Long Time Met At A Fair
I Cannot Play Second Fiddle To Any One
Pa Said Little Williewho Had Been Reading A Treatise On
Little Mary Quite Contrary
Mother May I Go Out To Wheel
Newlywed-what Do Bachelors Know About Women
I Hate A Liar Wiggins Cried Said Jiggins Then 'twould Seem You Really Ought To Try And Hide Your Lack Of Self-esteem
--i Met A Deaf And Dumb Man To-day Who Had Every Joint Of His Fingers Broken
Did Any Of You Ever See An Elephant's Skin
Gee Whizz
Poor Lot's Wife Turned To Salt Alas
Tramp--can't You Give A Poor Man Something To Eat
An Art-school Student Recently Painted The Picture Of A Dog Under A Tree So Lifelike That It Was Impossible To Distinguish The Bark Of The Tree From That Of The Dog
Some Of Us Have More Ups And Downs In This World Than Others But When We Get To The Cemetery We Will All Be On The Dead Level
Why Are You Sad Bill
I Asked A Young Lady Living On Her Pa's Farm What They Did With All Their Fruit
Landlady (proudly)--nothing Goes To Waste In This House
Maud--how Do You Define Love
Did You Know That Xanthippe Wife Of One Of The Greatest Of Ancient Philosophers Was A Great Scold
I Must Admit Said The Mannish Girl That I'm Very Fond Of Men's Clothes
A Butcher Knows How To Make Both Ends Meet
Would You Said The Reporter Who Gets Novel Interviews Tell Me What Book Helped You Most In Life
A Lady Was Looking For Her Husband And Inquired Anxiously Of A Housemaid Do You Happen To Know Anything Of Your Master's Whereabouts
Our New Congressman Has Made Himself Very Popular
A Man And His Bride By The Parson Were Tied And When The Performance Was Done Alas