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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




Are you engaged

Puns Home











"Are you engaged?" inquired the lady of Bridget at the

intelligence office. "No, mum, but I have regular company for

four nights o' the week."











Next: How to gain flesh--buy out a butcher shop

Previous: A farmer once called his cow Zephyr She seemed such an amiable hephyr



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Puns

For Mercy Sake Don't Put Me Near Old Billions
What Must A Man Be That He Shall Be Buried With Military Honors
Where Are You Going My Pretty Maid
A Watch's Fate Is Hard Indeed For When It's Not In Soak It's Set Back If It Gets Ahead And Scorned Whene'er It's Broke
That Tenor Of Yours Has A Marvelous Voice
You Are Absolutely Certain About Your Statement
Tommy--yes Cats Can See In The Dark And So Can Ethel; 'cause When Mr
A Young Lady In Philadelphia Is Said To Have Had Five Lovers All Named Samuel
Cleverton--miss Cutler Tells Me She Has Been Putting Quinine On Her Face Lately For Her Complexion
Women My Boy Said A Parent To His Son Are A Delusion And A Snare
How Is Your House Heated
Telephone Operators Are Always Bound To Have The Last Word; That's Why Females Are Always Employed In That Capacity
The Doctor--you Regard Society As Merely A Machine Do You
Johnny--what Makes You Look So Tired
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
First Doctor--well Doctor I Had A Peculiar Case To-day
He--i'll Go To-morrow And Buy A Diamond Engagement Ring
There Appears To Be No Affinity Between The Prestidigitator And The Theatrical Manager Yet They Both Make Passes
Some Men Get Up With The Lark While Others Want A Swallow The First Thing In The Morning
The Word 'reviver' Spells The Same Backwards And Forwards
Sing Not To Me Of Falling Dew Upon The Purple Hills For I Am Worried Far Too Much By Falling Due Of Bills
Medium--do You Believe In Spirits
I Saw Your Sister On The Street To-day
When A Woman Finds Her Dress Does Not Match Her Complexion It Is Always Easy Enough To Change Her Complexion
Betty, Why Do You Sit Up At This Hour Of The Night Darning Your Stockings