Are you intimate with any of the nobility
"Are you intimate with any of the nobility?" asked Chippy. "Well,
rather!" replied Clubdoodle. "I got a queen full last night, and
had a high old time with four kings."
More
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An Irishman was planting shade trees when a passing lady said:
You're digging out the holes are you Mr
An Irishman was planting shade trees when a passing lady said: "You're digging out the holes, are you, Mr. Haggerty?" "No, mum. Oi'm diggin' out the dirt an' lavin' the holes." ... An old lady, being told that a certain lawyer was lying
An old lady, being told that a certain lawyer "was lying at the point of death," exclaimed: "My Gracious! Won't even death stop that man's lying?" ... An old-maid being at a loss for a pin-cushion made use of an onion for the purpose
An old-maid being at a loss for a pin-cushion, made use of an onion for the purpose. On the following morning she found all the needles had tears in their eyes. ... And did you never kiss a girl under the mistletoe
"And did you never kiss a girl under the mistletoe?" "Well, no; its pleasanter to kiss her under the nose." ... And so Prof
"And so Prof. Greene has at last discovered the missing link! Where did he find it?" "Under the bureau, I understand." ... And you really believe that Friday is an unlucky day
"And you really believe that Friday is an unlucky day?" "I know it is." "Washington was born on Friday, and so was Napoleon and Tennyson and Gladstone." "Yes, and every mother's son of them is dead!" ... And you really think that a miss is as good as a mile
"And you really think that a miss is as good as a mile?" "Yaas, and a good deal better, for one can kiss a miss, when one couldn't kiss a mile, don'cher know?" ... Another great discovery of diamonds in Kentucky
Another great discovery of diamonds in Kentucky! A man got five of them on the first deal. ... Anything new in your neighborhood
"Anything new in your neighborhood?" we asked a farmer. "Yes, the whole neighborhood is stirred up," he replied. "What is the cause?" we asked eagerly. "Ploughing." ... Are any of the colors discernible to the touch
"Are any of the colors discernible to the touch?" asked the school teacher. "I have often felt blue," replied the boy at the head of the class. ... Are you an amateur photographer
"Are you an amateur photographer?" "No. Why do you ask?" "Oh, I heard that you got Miss Rox's negative last night." ... Are you engaged
"Are you engaged?" inquired the lady of Bridget at the intelligence office. "No, mum, but I have regular company for four nights o' the week." ... Are you intimate with any of the nobility
"Are you intimate with any of the nobility?" asked Chippy. "Well, rather!" replied Clubdoodle. "I got a queen full last night, and had a high old time with four kings." ... Are you the photographer
"Are you the photographer?" "Yes sir." "Do you take children's pictures?" "Yes sir." "How much do you charge?" "Three dollars a dozen." "Well, I have to see you again. I've only got eleven." ... Are your folks well to do
"Are your folks well to do?" "No. They're hard to do." ... Aren't you afraid dear you'll catch cold in the scanty bathing robe
"Aren't you afraid, dear, you'll catch cold in the scanty bathing robe?" he asked. "Oh, no," replied the dashing bride. "This is a very warm suit, hubby, dear." ... As he walked with baby He had to confess That marriage with him Was a howling success
As he walked with baby He had to confess That marriage with him Was a howling success. ... As man and wife are one the husband when seated with his wife must be beside himself
As man and wife are one, the husband when seated with his wife, must be beside himself. ... As the umpire shouted Three balls
As the umpire shouted "Three balls!" the batsman started guiltily. "This isn't the first time I've raised something on a diamond," he muttered, as he hit the next one and knocked a pop-fly to the pitcher. ... ASKIT-What is a convenient fall trip for me to take
ASKIT-What is a convenient fall trip for me to take? TELLIT-You might step on a banana peel or try to balance on a cake of soap at the head of the stairs. ... At a West End hotel one of the party asked: Have you got any celery waiter
At a West End hotel one of the party asked: "Have you got any celery, waiter?" "No, sir," was the significant answer; "I relies on me tips." ... Attorney for the Defense--Have you ever been cross-examined before
Attorney for the Defense--Have you ever been cross-examined before? The Witness--Have I. I'm a married man.--Life. ... BACON--What's that thread tied about your little finger for
BACON--What's that thread tied about your little finger for? EGBERT--Oh, that's just to remind my wife to ask me if I forgot something she told me to remember. ... Before marriage women wants tenderness
Before marriage, women wants tenderness. In a little while she is satisfied with legal tender. ...