Did you ever catch your husband flirting
"Did you ever catch your husband flirting?"
"Yes; that's the very way I did catch him."
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Customer (to the coal dealer): Have you got any name for those
scales of yours
Customer (to the coal dealer): "Have you got any name for those scales of yours?" "I never heard of scales having a name." "Well, you ought to call your scales Ambush. You see, they are always lying in weight." ... CUSTOMER--Why do you call this electric cake
CUSTOMER--Why do you call this electric cake? BAKER'S BOY--I 'spose becuz it has currants in it. ... CUSTOMER: You have a sign in your window 'A suit of clothes made while you wait
CUSTOMER: "You have a sign in your window, 'A suit of clothes made while you wait.' Do you really do that?" TAILOR: "Yes, sir. You leave your order, with a deposit, and then go home and wait till the garments are finished." ... DAME RUMOR ought frequently to have her named spelled without the e
DAME RUMOR ought frequently to have her named spelled without the e. ... Dear said the physician's wife when can you let me have ten dollars
"Dear," said the physician's wife, "when can you let me have ten dollars?" "Well," replied the medical man. "I hope to cash a draft shortly." "Cash a draft? What draft?" "The one I saw old Jenkins sitting in this morning." ... Dearest she murmured I'm so afraid you'll change
"Dearest," she murmured, "I'm so afraid you'll change." "Darling," he answered, "you'll never find any change about me." ... Dearest whispered Cordelia after she had captured the coveted solitaire I have a confession to make
"Dearest," whispered Cordelia, after she had captured the coveted solitaire, "I have a confession to make. I am a cooking school graduate." Clarence shuddered. "Oh, well," he rejoined, after the manner of one resigned to his fate, "we can bo... DICK--Do you think you'll have much trouble in popping the question
DICK--"Do you think you'll have much trouble in popping the question?" TOM--"No, I think I'll have more trouble in questioning the pop." ... Did any of you ever see an elephant's skin
"Did any of you ever see an elephant's skin?" inquired a teacher of a class of youths. "I have," exclaimed one. "Where?" asked the teacher. "On the elephant," replied the boy. ... Did the fisherman have frog's legs Bridget
"Did the fisherman have frog's legs, Bridget?" "Sure I couldn't see, mum; he had his pants on." ... Did the minister say anything comforting
"Did the minister say anything comforting?" asked the neighbor of the widow recently bereaved. "Indeed, he didn't," was the quick reply. "He said my husband was better off." ... Did you ever catch your husband flirting
"Did you ever catch your husband flirting?" "Yes; that's the very way I did catch him." ... Did you ever consider the case of the boy who stood on the burning deck
"Did you ever consider the case of the boy who stood on the burning deck?" "Not particularly. Why?" "Well, the game was poker and the hand had been dealt from the burning deck was a corker; so, as he didn't want to lose any chances, he--but ... Did you ever hear about the two holes in our back-yard
"Did you ever hear about the two holes in our back-yard?" "Well! Well!" ... Did you go into any of the New York restaurants
"Did you go into any of the New York restaurants?" "No. I got into what I thought was one and I heard a feller call for Saratoga chips and I knew 'twas a gamblin'-den and got out quick." ... Did you have any trouble with black ants in Ireland Bridget
"Did you have any trouble with black ants in Ireland, Bridget?" "No, ma'am, but I had some trouble onc't with a white uncle." ... Did you hear about Miss Jones
"Did you hear about Miss Jones?" "No. What's up?" "Why, she eloped with one of the boarders in the hotel." "Oh, that was only a roomer!" ... Did you hear the story about the peacock
"Did you hear the story about the peacock?" "No." "It's a beautiful tale." ... Did you know that Xanthippe wife of one of the greatest of ancient philosophers was a great scold
"Did you know that Xanthippe, wife of one of the greatest of ancient philosophers, was a great scold?" "Certainly; but just think what a great tease her husband was." "A great tease?" "Yes; Socrates." ... Did you shoot anything Henrick
"Did you shoot anything, Henrick?" "Yes, a duck." "What! a wild one?" "No, but the farmer was wild." ... Did your sweetheart receive you warmly last night
"Did your sweetheart receive you warmly last night?" asked one Pittsburg young man of another. "No, but her father did." "How was that?" "He fired me." ... DINER--Hello
DINER--"Hello! waiter, where is that ox-tail soup?" WAITER--"Coming, sir--half a minute." DINER--"Confound you! How slow you are." WAITER--"Fault of the soup, sir. Ox-tail is always behind." ...