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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




Did you go into any of the New York restaurants

Puns Home









"Did you go into any of the New York restaurants?"



"No. I got into what I thought was one and I heard a feller call

for Saratoga chips and I knew 'twas a gamblin'-den and got out

quick."











Next: The word 'reviver' spells the same backwards and forwards

Previous: To-morrow never comes they say; But all such talk is idle gush For when we have a debt to pay To-morrow gets there with a rush



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Viewed 2005



Puns

I Was At The Track To-day Percy And There Was A Horse Down There With The Itch
The Rapidity Of Ocean Transport Is Becoming Truly Marvelous
After Wedding A Rich Heiress Price Said Gambling's A Terrible Vice But One Thing I Know This Matching For Dough Is A Thing That's Exceedingly Nice
An English Motorist Is Quoted As Saying That He Classed Pedestrians As The Quick And The Dead: Those Who Got Out Of The Way And Those Who Didn't
Kid--did The Dogs Ever Bite You
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
A Mechanic His Labor Will Often Discard
I Hate A Liar Wiggins Cried Said Jiggins Then 'twould Seem You Really Ought To Try And Hide Your Lack Of Self-esteem
Here Lies Poor Sam: And What Is Strange Grim Death Has Worked In Him A Change---- He Always Lied And Always Will He Once Lied Loud And Now Lies Still
Did You Ever Consider The Case Of The Boy Who Stood On The Burning Deck
Everybody Knows A Woman Is Hard To Please
You Haven't A Cent And Yet Wish To Marry Miss Bilyan
He Said To Her: You're Just A Bird
Wife--got A Dollar
She--you Say Your Automobile Has Been Acting Strangely All Day
Playwright--there Is A Great Climax In The Last Act
An Emblem Of Tenuity We Witness Every Day; Behold The Corset-and You'll See The Whale-bone Comes To Stay
I Understand That Willoughby Was Half Seas Over At The Sneerwell Dinner
My Dear What Makes You Always Yawn
This Is Our Latest Novelty Said The Manufacturer Proudly
Teacher--johnny Can You Tell Me What A Section Boss Is
You Treat Me Cried Mrs
Lawyer: Have You Conscientious Scruples Against Serving As A Juror Where The Penalty Is Death
Casey Bet On A Horse Which Finished Last
What's The Matter Here