DINER--Hello
DINER--"Hello! waiter, where is that ox-tail soup?"
WAITER--"Coming, sir--half a minute."
DINER--"Confound you! How slow you are."
WAITER--"Fault of the soup, sir. Ox-tail is always behind."
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Did any of you ever see an elephant's skin
"Did any of you ever see an elephant's skin?" inquired a teacher of a class of youths. "I have," exclaimed one. "Where?" asked the teacher. "On the elephant," replied the boy. ... Did the fisherman have frog's legs Bridget
"Did the fisherman have frog's legs, Bridget?" "Sure I couldn't see, mum; he had his pants on." ... Did the minister say anything comforting
"Did the minister say anything comforting?" asked the neighbor of the widow recently bereaved. "Indeed, he didn't," was the quick reply. "He said my husband was better off." ... Did you ever catch your husband flirting
"Did you ever catch your husband flirting?" "Yes; that's the very way I did catch him." ... Did you ever consider the case of the boy who stood on the burning deck
"Did you ever consider the case of the boy who stood on the burning deck?" "Not particularly. Why?" "Well, the game was poker and the hand had been dealt from the burning deck was a corker; so, as he didn't want to lose any chances, he--but ... Did you ever hear about the two holes in our back-yard
"Did you ever hear about the two holes in our back-yard?" "Well! Well!" ... Did you go into any of the New York restaurants
"Did you go into any of the New York restaurants?" "No. I got into what I thought was one and I heard a feller call for Saratoga chips and I knew 'twas a gamblin'-den and got out quick." ... Did you have any trouble with black ants in Ireland Bridget
"Did you have any trouble with black ants in Ireland, Bridget?" "No, ma'am, but I had some trouble onc't with a white uncle." ... Did you hear about Miss Jones
"Did you hear about Miss Jones?" "No. What's up?" "Why, she eloped with one of the boarders in the hotel." "Oh, that was only a roomer!" ... Did you hear the story about the peacock
"Did you hear the story about the peacock?" "No." "It's a beautiful tale." ... Did you know that Xanthippe wife of one of the greatest of ancient philosophers was a great scold
"Did you know that Xanthippe, wife of one of the greatest of ancient philosophers, was a great scold?" "Certainly; but just think what a great tease her husband was." "A great tease?" "Yes; Socrates." ... Did you shoot anything Henrick
"Did you shoot anything, Henrick?" "Yes, a duck." "What! a wild one?" "No, but the farmer was wild." ... Did your sweetheart receive you warmly last night
"Did your sweetheart receive you warmly last night?" asked one Pittsburg young man of another. "No, but her father did." "How was that?" "He fired me." ... DINER--Hello
DINER--"Hello! waiter, where is that ox-tail soup?" WAITER--"Coming, sir--half a minute." DINER--"Confound you! How slow you are." WAITER--"Fault of the soup, sir. Ox-tail is always behind." ... Do I bore you
"Do I bore you?" asked the mosquito, politely, as he sunk a half-inch shaft into the man's leg. "Not at all," replied the man, squashing him with a book. "How do I strike you?" ... Do you believe in luck
"Do you believe in luck?" "Sometimes. See that fat woman with the red hat over there?" "Yes." "Twenty years ago she refused to marry me." ... Do you believe in transmigration of souls
"Do you believe in transmigration of souls?" "Well," answered the man who never admits that he doesn't know everything, "I wouldn't recommend it as a regular practice." ... Do you go to church to hear the sermon or the music Maude
"Do you go to church to hear the sermon or the music, Maude?" "I go for the hims," said Maud. ... Do you know George Papa thinks you are a literary man
"Do you know, George, Papa thinks you are a literary man." "Where did he get that idea?" "I don't know, but he said you looked just like a bookmaker." ... Do you know the nature of an oath ma'am
"Do you know the nature of an oath, ma'am?" inquired the judge. "Well, I reckon I orter," was the reply. "My husband drives a canal boat." ... Do you think that as a rule people who attend theaters are superstitious
"Do you think that as a rule people who attend theaters are superstitious?" "Do I think so? I know it. I have seen people sit for an hour waiting for a ghost to walk." "For that matter the actors themselves often wait longer than that." ... Do you think the elevator boy stole your watch
"Do you think the elevator boy stole your watch?" "Well, he swore up and down that he didn't." ... Do you think the things one eats have a direct effect on one's disposition
"Do you think the things one eats have a direct effect on one's disposition?" "Well, rather. We had Indian meal pudding so often at our house that everybody got savage." ... DOCTOR--You are fagged out; you must give up all headwork
DOCTOR--You are fagged out; you must give up all headwork. PATIENT--Why, that spells ruin! I'm a hair-dresser! ... Doing anything now Bill
"Doing anything now, Bill?" "Oh, yes, I'm kept busy all the time." "Ah, glad to hear it. What are you doing?" "Looking for a job." ... Don't doubt the veteran who tells you he was always where the bullets were thickest; perhaps he was hiding under the ammunition wagon
Don't doubt the veteran who tells you he was always where the bullets were thickest; perhaps he was hiding under the ammunition wagon. ...