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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




HE--Time and tide wait for no man

Puns Home









HE--Time and tide wait for no man.



SHE--No, but a woman will.











Next: Sing not to me of falling dew Upon the purple hills For I am worried far too much By falling due of bills

Previous: Some men get up with the lark while others want a swallow the first thing in the morning



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Puns

Lady--why Do You Remove Your Sword Lieutenant
I Was At A Banquet Last Night
Brown--i Hear That They Use All Sorts Of Materials In The Manufacture Of Illuminating Gas Nowadays
Little Willie--papa Why Does The Railway Company Have Those Cases With The Ax And Saw In Every Car
Soloman Soloman--our Frent Cohen Must Pe Goin' T' Haf A Fire
Biggs--i Hear The Jail Was Afire This Morning
Well I See Admiral Dewey's Rank Is Reduced
A Painter Who Fell Off A Scaffold With A Pot Of Paint In Each Hand Said: Well I Came Down With Flying Colors Anyhow
Did You Hear The Story About The Peacock
I've Been Pondering Over A Very Singular Thing
The Fact That A Man Has Not Cut His Hair For Ten Or Twelve Years Need Not Necessarily Imply That He Is Eccentric
I'll Never Ask Another Woman To Marry Me As Long As I Live
How Is Uncle Mose Coming On
Pat--'twas The Divil Of A Blow The Dago Gave Yer
What Relation Is A Door-step To A Door-mat
According To A Florist's Magazine Jacks Are Becoming Cheap
Kicksy--wife Can You Tell Me Why I Am Like A Hen
Greene--these Wakes Of Yours Are Pretty Boisterous Affairs Sometimes
John Can You Tell Me The Difference Between Attraction Of Gravitation And Attraction Of Cohesion
I Once Saw A Man At A Meeting Of A Mothers' Club
Here Lies Poor Sam: And What Is Strange Grim Death Has Worked In Him A Change---- He Always Lied And Always Will He Once Lied Loud And Now Lies Still
Jackson Never Lights One Of His Cigars
I'm Very Much Surprised Quoth Harry That Jane A Gambler Should Marry
A Sporty Young Fellow Named Phipps Last Night Went To View The Eclipse
And Did You Never Kiss A Girl Under The Mistletoe