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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




How is Uncle Mose coming on

Puns Home









"How is Uncle Mose coming on?" asked Sam Johnsing of Jim Webster.



"He will be out in a few days."



"Is his rheumatism done gone?"



"Well, not perzackly. Dar's room for improvement yit."



"Yes, I've heerd some rheumers ter dat effec'."











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Puns

He Said To Her: You're Just A Bird
He--i Saw You Out Driving Yesterday With A Gentleman
A Woman's Shoe That Is A Mile Too Big Is Never A Foot In Length
The Old Lady Who Sent As Presents To A Newly-married Couple A Rolling-pin A Pain Of Flat-irons And A Motto Inscribed Fight On Must Have A Grudge Against Them
He--did You Ever See Anything At So-called Bargain Sales That Was Really Cheap
Why The Bare Idea
Mr
Well Have You Anything To Say
When Was Money First Invented
If Said The Druggist You Will Give This New Tonic A Trial I'm Sure You Will Never Use Any Other
You Haven't A Cent And Yet Wish To Marry Miss Bilyan
Yes Said A Landlord Sadly Whose Tenant Had Made A Moonlight Flitting Appearances Are Deceitful; But Disappearances Are Still More So
Do You Believe In Luck
He--yes She Is Living Under An Assumed Name
The Spinster--how Many Lodges Did You Say Your Husband Belonged To
A Boil In The Pot Is Worth Two On The Neck
How Could You Endure Talking So Long With That Ugly Old Woman With That Frightful Costume Without Laughing In Her Face
Landlady (proudly)--nothing Goes To Waste In This House
You Own Your Own House Don't You
At A West End Hotel One Of The Party Asked: Have You Got Any Celery Waiter
Miss Prim Is A Very Proper Young Lady
You Say His Wife's A Brunette
There Is A Man Who Never Knew Such A Thing As Fear
What Do You Think Of The Statement That There Are Three Hundred Haunted Houses In New York
You Have A Bad Cold He Said