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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




How is Uncle Mose coming on

Puns Home









"How is Uncle Mose coming on?" asked Sam Johnsing of Jim Webster.



"He will be out in a few days."



"Is his rheumatism done gone?"



"Well, not perzackly. Dar's room for improvement yit."



"Yes, I've heerd some rheumers ter dat effec'."











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Puns

A Certain Young Man Told His Girl The Other Night That If She Didn't Marry Him He'd Get A Rope And Hang Himself Right In Front Of Her Home
Are You An Amateur Photographer
Did You Know That Xanthippe Wife Of One Of The Greatest Of Ancient Philosophers Was A Great Scold
Askit-what Is A Convenient Fall Trip For Me To Take
She--why Do They Call It An Arm Of The Sea
Is A Howling Dog A Sign Of Death
Smith--they Say That After A Time The Engineer Of A Limited Flyer Loses His Nerve
He: Do You Know Dear You Remind Me Of Huyler's Candy
The Barber--did I Ever Shave You Before
It Doesn't Do Any Good To Scold The Janitor About Our Cold Rooms
What Are You Writing Such A Big Hand For Pat
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
I Saw Your Sister On The Street To-day
A Woman Never Fully Understands The Hardness Of The World Until She Falls Off A Bicycle A Few Times
John--say Do You Want To Get Next To A Scheme For Making Money Fast
Paw Can An Honest Man Play Poker
Some People Who Jump At Conclusions Lose Sight Of The Hurdles
And So Prof
So Maude Is Happily Married
A Queen Was She--the Beautiful Maid-- Beauty Or Wealth She Did Not Lack-- But The Game Was Euchre That Cupid Played And The Queen Was Won By A Jack
Landlady (proudly)--nothing Goes To Waste In This House
Why Is Miss B---- Wearing Black
Gee Whizz
In One Way The Clock Makers Are Independent Of Labor Troubles
That Was A Pretty Good Dog Story Wasn't It