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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




I know a man who says he can't sit down and he can't stand up

Puns Home









"I know a man who says he can't sit down and he can't stand up."



"Well, if he tells the truth, he lies."











Next: Mirrors reflect without speaking and women often speak without reflecting

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Puns

Did You Ever Catch Your Husband Flirting
Now Why Remarked The Little Dog In Speaking To The Tree Would You Say That The Heart Of You Is Like The Tail Of Me
That Tenor Of Yours Has A Marvelous Voice
A Man Who Had Not The Best Reputation For Strict Veracity Died The Other Day And The Family Was Greatly Incensed Because Some Well-meaning Friends Sent In A Broken Lyre As A Floral Tribute
Hey Boy Where's Your Brother
Bluff A Little Bluff A Little As You Go Your Way; Bluffing May Not Always Help You-- Many Times It May
Did You Shoot Anything Henrick
Guest--what Have You Got
Now Comes The Question Which Will Make This Life A Bitter Cup
When The Old Man Is Shaking Down The Furnace Carrying Out The Ashes Feeding The Cat And Six Kittens And Making The Beds Remarked The Observer Of Events And Things Of Course He Is Too Busy To Hear His Daughter In The Parlor Singing: 'everybody Works Bu
This Is An Interesting Clock Miss Said The Salesman You Really Should Have One Especially If You're Bothered With Tiresome Callers
Teacher--yes Dear; Ova Refers To An Egg
The Word 'reviver' Spells The Same Backwards And Forwards
What Was The Subject Of Your Debate This Evening
That Was A Pretty Good Dog Story Wasn't It
I Hear They Are Trying To Close Up The Gambling Establishments In New York
Guard--i Suppose When You Were In The Army You Often Saw A Picket Fence
There Goes A Man Who Leads In Letters
Husband--my Dear How Would You Like A Book For A Present
If A Guest At A Restaurant Ordered A Lobster And Ate It And Another Guest Did The Same What Would The Latter's Telephone Number Be
Yes Said A Landlord Sadly Whose Tenant Had Made A Moonlight Flitting Appearances Are Deceitful; But Disappearances Are Still More So
Ida--yes Dear This Is One Of Those 'perfume' Concerts The Same As They Have In New York
Did You Ever Consider The Case Of The Boy Who Stood On The Burning Deck
What Did De Lady Do When Yer Asked Her For An Old Collar
'tis Now The Wily Urchin Mocks The Lynx-eyed Cop Along The Docks And Plunges In The Cooling Tide Arrayed In Naught Else But His Hide