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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




I know a man who says he can't sit down and he can't stand up

Puns Home









"I know a man who says he can't sit down and he can't stand up."



"Well, if he tells the truth, he lies."











Next: Mirrors reflect without speaking and women often speak without reflecting

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Puns

She Heard The Fog-horn Blowing And What Is That
Here's An Account Of A Hen Which Layed Three Eggs At Once And Then Died Remarked Mrs
A Certain Young Man Told His Girl The Other Night That If She Didn't Marry Him He'd Get A Rope And Hang Himself Right In Front Of Her Home
I'm The Champion Long Distance Cornet Player
Do You Know The Nature Of An Oath Ma'am
Tommy--pa Did You Really Mean It When You Said You'd Spank Anyone That Broke That Vase
I Asked A Young Lady Living On Her Pa's Farm What They Did With All Their Fruit
Well I See Admiral Dewey's Rank Is Reduced
A Woman Fell Overboard From A Ship Yesterday And A Shark Came Up And Looked Her Over And Went Away
This Is An Interesting Clock Miss Said The Salesman You Really Should Have One Especially If You're Bothered With Tiresome Callers
What Makes So Much Froth In A Glass Of Beer Pa
Alas For All Their Ecstasy They Knew Not What Was Best: The Young Man Reached The Front Door The Old Man Did The Rest
An Art-school Student Recently Painted The Picture Of A Dog Under A Tree So Lifelike That It Was Impossible To Distinguish The Bark Of The Tree From That Of The Dog
Nature Never Allows Anything To Run To Waist
According To A Florist's Magazine Jacks Are Becoming Cheap
You Treat Me Cried Mrs
The Fate Of Lot's Wife Was All Her Own Fault; She First Turned To Rubber And Then Turned To Salt
He Always Kneeled Before The Maid And Kissed Her Finger Tips; But He Lost Out
I Sent A Dollar Last Week Said The Good Thing In Answer To That Advertisement Offering A Method Of Saving One-half My Gas Bills
Here Is A Chestnut Your Ire Arouses So Often It's Brought To Your Minds People Who Live In Glass Houses Should Always Pull Down The Blinds
Things Are Wrong Remarked The Observer Of Events And Things When A Reputable Physician Has To Pay Money For A Certificate To Practice And A Fourteen-year-old Girl With A New Piano Doesn't
Two Irish Farmers Who Had Not Seen Each Other For A Long Time Met At A Fair
There Is As Much Strength In An Egg As In A Pound Of Meat
If You Should Die What Would You Do With Your Body
I Saw De Castro The Magician Make A $20 Gold Piece Disappear In Three Minutes