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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




I want to get a head of cabbage said the man who had been sent to market

Puns Home









"I want to get a head of cabbage," said the man who had been sent

to market.



"Large or small head?" asked the grocer.



"Oh, about 7 1-4," said the man, absent-mindedly.











Next: I'll pass the butter said he while trying to pass the browsing goat

Previous: How is your house heated



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Puns

Smith--they Say That After A Time The Engineer Of A Limited Flyer Loses His Nerve
As The Umpire Shouted Three Balls
That Young Gentleman Has A Very Taking Manner Said One Young Lady To Another At A Party Of A Young Man Who Had Just Left Them
An Old-maid Being At A Loss For A Pin-cushion Made Use Of An Onion For The Purpose
Comstock Shuddered The Other Evening When A Lady Asked Him If He Cared For Undressed Kids
My Girl's Father Is An Undertaker
Have You Received Last Month's Gas Bill Dear
No Indeed She Said I Can Never Be Your Wife
What Kind Of Hen Lays The Longest
A Recent School Examination In England Elicited The Following Definitions: Noah's Wife Wrote One Boy Was Called Joan Of Arc
Mr
What Is The Difference Between The Admission To A Dime Museum And The Admission To Sing Sing
Are You Intimate With Any Of The Nobility
Mirrors Reflect Without Speaking And Women Often Speak Without Reflecting
Cleverton--miss Cutler Tells Me She Has Been Putting Quinine On Her Face Lately For Her Complexion
If You Want To See A Strong Organization Look At The Whisky Dealers; If You Want To See A Weak One Look At The Consumers
Some Fellows Marry Poor Girls To Settle Down And Others Marry Rich Ones To Settle Up
Isaacs--undt Suppose Dey Did Send Us A Message From Mars How Could Dey Tell If We Got It
Why Is A Kiss Like The Three Graces
There's One Peculiar Feature About The Trust Business
You Were Thrown Out
Before Marriage Women Wants Tenderness
Husband--i Am Going To Buy Two Little Children
I Hate A Liar Wiggins Cried Said Jiggins Then 'twould Seem You Really Ought To Try And Hide Your Lack Of Self-esteem
The Old Lady Who Sent As Presents To A Newly-married Couple A Rolling-pin A Pain Of Flat-irons And A Motto Inscribed Fight On Must Have A Grudge Against Them