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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




I want to get a head of cabbage said the man who had been sent to market

Puns Home









"I want to get a head of cabbage," said the man who had been sent

to market.



"Large or small head?" asked the grocer.



"Oh, about 7 1-4," said the man, absent-mindedly.











Next: I'll pass the butter said he while trying to pass the browsing goat

Previous: How is your house heated



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Puns

How Did You Cure Your Boy Of Swearing
Our New Congressman Has Made Himself Very Popular
A Man Stole A Harness The Other Day And Never Left A Trace
I Saw Some Delicious Apples Growing On A Tree This Morning
Aren't You Afraid Dear You'll Catch Cold In The Scanty Bathing Robe
A Sporty Young Fellow Named Phipps Last Night Went To View The Eclipse
The Butcher Is A Fair Minded Fellow
A Watch's Fate Is Hard Indeed For When It's Not In Soak It's Set Back If It Gets Ahead And Scorned Whene'er It's Broke
You Ought To Sleep Well, You Lie So Easily
He--didn't You Promise To Love Honor And Obey Me
Are You Engaged
That Was A Pretty Good Dog Story Wasn't It
I Once Saw A Man At A Meeting Of A Mothers' Club
Full Many A Coat Tail That Is Long And Wide Does From The Public Gaze Two Monstrous Patches Hide
She--i Think This A Lovely Hat You Bought Me George But Really It's A Sin To Pay $50
Ah
Oh Live And Let Live My Man
Mother May I Go Out To Wheel
She--you Say Your Automobile Has Been Acting Strangely All Day
Yes Dear Said The Petted Young Wife Examining Her Christmas Gift These Diamond Earrings Are Pretty But The Stones Are Awfully Small
A Husband And Wife Are Considered One But It Is Useless To Try To Work That Gag On The Landlord When He Presents The Board Bill
I Know A Man Who Says He Can't Sit Down And He Can't Stand Up
It Is A Maine Husband Who Has Dubbed His Wife Crystal Because She Is Always On The Watch
He Called Her An Angel Before They Were Wed But That Alas
A Teacher In A High School Asked A Little Wad Of An Irish Boy To Describe A Lake