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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




I'll never ask another woman to marry me as long as I live

Puns Home











"I'll never ask another woman to marry me as long as I live!"



"Refused again?"



"No; accepted."











Next: A wag who thought to have a joke at the expense of an Irish provision dealer said Can you supply me with a yard of pork

Previous: Tommy said mamma tearfully it gives me as much pain as it does you to punish you



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Puns

I Once Knew A Man Who With The Aid Of A Microscope Made A Harness For A Flea
Soloman Soloman--our Frent Cohen Must Pe Goin' T' Haf A Fire
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
An Irishman Just Landed Seeing An Electric-motor Car Running For The First Time Exclaimed: Well Well Ould Nick Must Be Pullin' It Wid A String
I'm Nearly Starved
The Old Lady Who Sent As Presents To A Newly-married Couple A Rolling-pin A Pain Of Flat-irons And A Motto Inscribed Fight On Must Have A Grudge Against Them
A Beautiful Lassie Named Florence Once Wept Till Her Tears Flowed In Torence
Don't Talk To Me About Compulsory Vaccination
I Am Quite Surprised Mr
When You See A Young Man Cleaning A Girl's Bicycle They Are Engaged; But When You See The Operation Reversed They Are Married
What Do You Mean By Referring To Miss Elderly As A Pall-bearer
Why Do You Call Your Dog Hardware
I've Been Pondering Over A Very Singular Thing
A Bashful Young Couple Who Were Evidently Very Much In Love Entered A Crowded Street Car In Boston The Other Day
Butcher--i Need A Boy About Your Size And Will Give You $1 A Week
Algy--charming Widow Isn't She
What Man In The Army Wore The Biggest Hat
Oh I Am Awfully Worried
A Tramp Asked A Farmer For Something To Eat One Day As He Chanced There To Stop The Kind Hearted Farmer Went Out To The Shed And Gave Him An Axe And Feelingly Said: Now Just Help Yourself To A Chop
Mrs
Why Do They Make Those Oriental Pipes With Bowls As Big As Water Pitchers
What Kind Of Hen Lays The Longest
First Fly--did It Ever Occur To You The Baldheaded Men Have A Keener Sense Of Humor Than Others
Love They Say Is Blind
The Impecunious Young Man Who Marries A Girl With A Substantial Check Attached May Very Properly Be Said To Have Been Checkmated