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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




I'm nearly starved

Puns Home









"I'm nearly starved. Just got in from a three-hour trip on the

New York Central."



"But couldn't you get anything to eat on the train?"



"Nope! It was a 'fast' train."











Next: What do you think of the statement that there are three hundred haunted houses in New York

Previous: --I met a deaf and dumb man to-day who had every joint of his fingers broken



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Puns

A Man Stole A Harness The Other Day And Never Left A Trace
Biggs--i Hear The Jail Was Afire This Morning
A Woman Fell Overboard From A Ship Yesterday And A Shark Came Up And Looked Her Over And Went Away
A Beautiful Lassie Named Florence Once Wept Till Her Tears Flowed In Torence
Little Willie--papa Why Does The Railway Company Have Those Cases With The Ax And Saw In Every Car
You Never Bought A Gold Brick Did You
Jones The Dentist Ought To Make A Good Poker Player
How Did You Cure Your Boy Of Swearing
An Emblem Of Tenuity We Witness Every Day; Behold The Corset-and You'll See The Whale-bone Comes To Stay
Courtney--when You Proposed To Miss Dexter Did You Get Down On Your Knees
This Wireless Telegraphy Reminds Me Of A Groundless Quarrel
Speaking Of Accommodating Hotel Clerks Remarked A Portland Commercial Traveller The Best I Ever Saw Was In A Town Near Bangor
Lawyer: Have You Conscientious Scruples Against Serving As A Juror Where The Penalty Is Death
You Ought To Sleep Well, You Lie So Easily
My Dear What Makes You Always Yawn
He--don't You Think Miss Plainly Is The Very Image Of Her Mother
Why Is A Kiss Like The Three Graces
What Did De Lady Do When Yer Asked Her For An Old Collar
I Had Soup In A Restaurant The Other Day And Found An Oyster In It
He: Do You Know Dear You Remind Me Of Huyler's Candy
Bacon--what's That Thread Tied About Your Little Finger For
Three Women May A Secret Keep If As It Has Been Said There's One Of The Lot Has Heard It Not And The Other Two Are Dead
And You Really Believe That Friday Is An Unlucky Day
He Seems To Have Gone To The Bad Completely
Sunday School Teacher--what Is Meant In The Parable By A House Built Upon A Rock