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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




Is a howling dog a sign of death

Puns Home









"Is a howling dog a sign of death?"

Said Doolittle to Dunn.

"Of course it is, if the dog will wait

Until I get my gun."











Next: No indeed she said I can never be your wife

Previous: A man wanted a ticket to New York and only had a $2 bill



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Puns

Mrs
If Said The Druggist You Will Give This New Tonic A Trial I'm Sure You Will Never Use Any Other
How Did That Fight Between The Bridge Tenders End
I Wonder What The Holes In A Porous Plaster Are For
He Dined Not Wisely But Too Well-- Hence All His Ills; And Nothing Now Agrees With Him Excepting Pills
What Is The Best Way To Raise Cabbage
A Queen Was She--the Beautiful Maid-- Beauty Or Wealth She Did Not Lack-- But The Game Was Euchre That Cupid Played And The Queen Was Won By A Jack
Some Fellows Marry Poor Girls To Settle Down And Others Marry Rich Ones To Settle Up
If You Want To See A Strong Organization Look At The Whisky Dealers; If You Want To See A Weak One Look At The Consumers
Ida--yes Dear This Is One Of Those 'perfume' Concerts The Same As They Have In New York
Pa What Does Sioux Falls S
Two Irish Farmers Who Had Not Seen Each Other For A Long Time Met At A Fair
One Day In The Dining-car The Boy Across The Aisle Got To Laughing So He Couldn't Stop
We Don't Always Know Just How The Other Half Lives; But In Chicago The Better Half Lives On Her Alimony
Some People Who Jump At Conclusions Lose Sight Of The Hurdles
A Simple Old Farmer Mcveagh Whom Every One Said Was A Jeagh Fell In With A Man On The Confidence Plan And Now He Is Back Making Heagh
What Is The Meaning Of The Saying That A Man Shall Earn His Bread In The Sweat Of His Brow
If A Guest At A Restaurant Ordered A Lobster And Ate It And Another Guest Did The Same What Would The Latter's Telephone Number Be
Said She How Beautiful Is Nature
Customer: You Have A Sign In Your Window 'a Suit Of Clothes Made While You Wait
A Deaf And Dumb Mute Recently Went Into A Bicycle Shop And Picked Up A Hub And Spoke
Fannie--why Do People Always Apply The Name Of She To A City
An Old Lady, Being Told That A Certain Lawyer Was Lying
Weeks--well How Are Things Over In Boston
After Wedding A Rich Heiress Price Said Gambling's A Terrible Vice But One Thing I Know This Matching For Dough Is A Thing That's Exceedingly Nice