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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Ah
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




It is a Maine husband who has dubbed his wife Crystal because she is always on the watch

Puns Home











It is a Maine husband who has dubbed his wife "Crystal," because

she is always "on the watch."











Next: So Maude is happily married

Previous: PAT--Who is being lowered into a well; Sthop will ye Murphy



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Viewed 1850



Puns

I Say Old Chap How Short Your Overcoat Is
A Painter Who Fell Off A Scaffold With A Pot Of Paint In Each Hand Said: Well I Came Down With Flying Colors Anyhow
Butcher--i Need A Boy About Your Size And Will Give You $1 A Week
I'm Nearly Starved
Customer (to The Coal Dealer): Have You Got Any Name For Those Scales Of Yours
In This Glorious Land Of The Free You Always Have To Pay For The Drinks In Order To Get A Whack At The Free Lunch
Did You Know That Xanthippe Wife Of One Of The Greatest Of Ancient Philosophers Was A Great Scold
Well, Pat, And How Is That Bull-pup Of Yours Doing
Some Men Are Easily Satisfied Remarked The Observer Of Events And Things
I Am Told Said She Saucily That Though You Are A Military Man You Are Afraid Of Powder
There Is As Much Strength In An Egg As In A Pound Of Meat
What's The Matter With Smith
A Simple Old Farmer Mcveagh Whom Every One Said Was A Jeagh Fell In With A Man On The Confidence Plan And Now He Is Back Making Heagh
Things Are Wrong Remarked The Observer Of Events And Things When A Reputable Physician Has To Pay Money For A Certificate To Practice And A Fourteen-year-old Girl With A New Piano Doesn't
An Irishman Comes To This Country Remains Here Ten Years And Goes Back To Ireland And Dies
The Pugilist Boxes His Man Before He Lays Him Out
Sunday School Teacher--what Is Meant In The Parable By A House Built Upon A Rock
Where Are You Going My Pretty Maid
--i Want To Be An Angel
Who Was The First One That Came From The Ark When It Landed
Betty, Why Do You Sit Up At This Hour Of The Night Darning Your Stockings
Landlady (proudly)--nothing Goes To Waste In This House
Some Men Divide Their Lives Between Trying To Forget And Trying To Recover From The Effects Of Trying To Forget
Dearest Whispered Cordelia After She Had Captured The Coveted Solitaire I Have A Confession To Make
--no Matter How High An Awning May Be Suspended It Is Only A Shade Above The Street