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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Ah
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
Electricity Is A Great Educator
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




JUDGE--You are charged with profanity

Puns Home









JUDGE--You are charged with profanity.



PRISONER--I am not.



JUDGE--You are, sir. What do you mean?



PRISONER--I was, but I got rid of it.











Next: I hate a liar Wiggins cried Said Jiggins Then 'twould seem You really ought to try and hide Your lack of self-esteem

Previous: Seven little missionaries-- Horrible their fate-- Cannibals picked clean their bones Then they were ate



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Puns

Why The Bare Idea
Held By The Enemy--the Ulster Which We Are Unable To Redeem
What Man In The Army Wore The Biggest Hat
Some People Who Jump At Conclusions Lose Sight Of The Hurdles
My Face Is My Fortune Sir She Said But Her Suitor Saw Right Through Her; She Meant She Could Not Cash A Check Unless The Banker Knew Her
This Wireless Telegraphy Reminds Me Of A Groundless Quarrel
Some Of Us Have More Ups And Downs In This World Than Others But When We Get To The Cemetery We Will All Be On The Dead Level
Two Irish Farmers Who Had Not Seen Each Other For A Long Time Met At A Fair
He--the Bride Looks Radiant As Brides Usually Do
I've Been Pondering Over A Very Singular Thing
Tom--i Kissed Her When She Wasn't Looking
The Rubber Plant Was Rubb'ring Round In A Manner Most Absurd: The Long Green Corn Prickled Up Her Ears And This Is What She Heard: Wot's Tomato Wid You You Beat
Dick--do You Think You'll Have Much Trouble In Popping The Question
An Irishman Just Landed Seeing An Electric-motor Car Running For The First Time Exclaimed: Well Well Ould Nick Must Be Pullin' It Wid A String
The Kerosene Can On The Mantel Reposes Its Contents Were Sprinkled All Over The Fire And All That Poor Kathleen O'donohue Knows Is This Dull World Has Changed For A Sphere That Is Higher
Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
I'll Never Ask Another Woman To Marry Me As Long As I Live
Brown--up At Hagenbeck's Show There Is A Large Bear That Hugs A Woman Without Killing Her
Fred--did You Hear Of The Western Furniture Co
As The Umpire Shouted Three Balls
What A Fearful Night I Had When I Drew This Gun The First Time
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
In One Way The Clock Makers Are Independent Of Labor Troubles
Why Don't You Demand $50000 Instead Of $5000
A Teacher In A High School Asked A Little Wad Of An Irish Boy To Describe A Lake