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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




Lovett--You don't believe in divorce then

Puns Home











Lovett--You don't believe in divorce, then?



Hayter--No, sir; I've got too much sportin' blood.



Lovett--What has that to do with it?



Hayter--I believe in a fight to the finish.











Next: Lawyer: Have you conscientious scruples against serving as a juror where the penalty is death

Previous: Three women may a secret keep If as it has been said There's one of the lot has heard it not And the other two are dead



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Puns

Yes Dear Said The Petted Young Wife Examining Her Christmas Gift These Diamond Earrings Are Pretty But The Stones Are Awfully Small
A Boil In The Pot Is Worth Two On The Neck
Have You Received Last Month's Gas Bill Dear
One Day In The Dining-car The Boy Across The Aisle Got To Laughing So He Couldn't Stop
I Cannot Play Second Fiddle To Any One
I Will Not Sit That Way
Customer: You Have A Sign In Your Window 'a Suit Of Clothes Made While You Wait
How Could You Endure Talking So Long With That Ugly Old Woman With That Frightful Costume Without Laughing In Her Face
She--why Do They Call It An Arm Of The Sea
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
Guide--this Is A Dogwood Tree
'tis Now The Wily Urchin Mocks The Lynx-eyed Cop Along The Docks And Plunges In The Cooling Tide Arrayed In Naught Else But His Hide
Weeks--well How Are Things Over In Boston
What Do You Think Of The Statement That There Are Three Hundred Haunted Houses In New York
Love They Say Is Blind
Cityman--do They Keep A Servant Girl
Pa What Branches Did You Take When You Went To School
Customer--why Do You Call This Electric Cake
Men Are Deceivers As A Rule
Take Away My First Letter Take Away My Second Letter Take Away All My Letters And I Am Still The Same
An Irish Doctor Advertises That The Deaf May Hear Of Him At A House In Liffey Street Where His Blind Patients May See Him From Ten Till Three
Wife--got A Dollar
He Who Courts And Goes Away May Court Again Another Day; But He Who Weds And Courts Girls Still May Go To Court Against His Will
With Cards And Dice And Dress And Friends My Savings Are Complete; I Light The Candle At Both Ends And Thus Make Both Ends Meet
She--you Can't Eat Cake And Keep It