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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




MASHINGTON--What's the matter with your clock

Puns Home











MASHINGTON--What's the matter with your clock? It's stopped.



TAILOR--I never wind it up. I use it as a motto.



"What do you mean?"



"No tick here."











Next: The hawk was dozing

Previous: What kind of essence does a young man like when he pops the question



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Puns

One Day In The Dining-car The Boy Across The Aisle Got To Laughing So He Couldn't Stop
Irish Foreman To Gang Of Men In A Sewer: How Many Men Is Down In That Hole
A Man Stole A Harness The Other Day And Never Left A Trace
They Caught The Burglars That Robbed The Hotel Last Night
You Never Bought A Gold Brick Did You
A Maine Dealer Says He Has Sold More Skates This Season Than He Has Ever Sold Before In An Entire Season
How To Make Your Trousers Last Make Your Coat And Waistcoat First
She (approvingly)--you Won Her Hand Then
Isaacs--undt Suppose Dey Did Send Us A Message From Mars How Could Dey Tell If We Got It
Did You Know That Xanthippe Wife Of One Of The Greatest Of Ancient Philosophers Was A Great Scold
Every Time I Get On A Ferry Boat It Makes Me Cross
I Wonder Why Blondes Are Always Anxious To Be Wedded
Husband--i Am Going To Buy Two Little Children
What In The World Shall I Do With The Baby John
How To Signal A Bark--pull A Dog's Tail
Doctor--you Are Fagged Out; You Must Give Up All Headwork
Smith--there Is Something That Will Never Be Boycotted By The Fair Sex As Long As Time Lasts
'tis Now The Wily Urchin Mocks The Lynx-eyed Cop Along The Docks And Plunges In The Cooling Tide Arrayed In Naught Else But His Hide
In One Way The Clock Makers Are Independent Of Labor Troubles
He--didn't You Promise To Love Honor And Obey Me
Tramp--can't You Give A Poor Man Something To Eat
Coleridge Who Was A Bad Rider Was Accosted When On Horseback By A Wag Who Asked Him If He Knew What Happened To Balaam The Same Thing That Happened To Me--an Ass Spoke To Him
What Do You Think Of Windig
That Was A Pretty Good Dog Story Wasn't It
He--why Has He Put Her Picture In His Watch