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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




MAUD--How do you define love

Puns Home









MAUD--How do you define love?



MARIE--Love is the life of illusion.



"And what is marriage?" "Oh, marriage is the death of them."











Next: WEEKS--Well how are things over in Boston

Previous: CLEVERTON--Miss Cutler tells me she has been putting quinine on her face lately for her complexion



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Puns

Lawyers Practice At The Bar While Bartenders And Mosquitoes Practice Inside Of It
I Hear They Are Trying To Close Up The Gambling Establishments In New York
The Rubber Plant Was Rubb'ring Round In A Manner Most Absurd: The Long Green Corn Prickled Up Her Ears And This Is What She Heard: Wot's Tomato Wid You You Beat
Why Did You Insist On Only $99000 A Year As Your Salary
Smith--i Notice That Robinson Has An Article In The Paper This Morning
Now Comes The Question Which Will Make This Life A Bitter Cup
I Know A Man Who Says He Can't Sit Down And He Can't Stand Up
One Day In The Dining-car The Boy Across The Aisle Got To Laughing So He Couldn't Stop
I Hear They're Going To Change The Name Of Central Park To Orchard Park
Yes He's Got A Flying-machine Ready For A Trial Now And He's Trying Hard Not To Be Proud
I Saw De Castro The Magician Make A $20 Gold Piece Disappear In Three Minutes
Stranger--boy Can You Direct Me To The Bank
It Doesn't Do Any Good To Scold The Janitor About Our Cold Rooms
The Fact That A Man Has Not Cut His Hair For Ten Or Twelve Years Need Not Necessarily Imply That He Is Eccentric
What Is There About Betting On Horse-races That Is So Bad For The Health
Well Have You Anything To Say
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
If Said The Druggist You Will Give This New Tonic A Trial I'm Sure You Will Never Use Any Other
They Cannot Be Complete In Aught Who Are Not Humorously Prone; A Man Without A Merry Thought Can Hardly Have A Funny Bone
Husband--i Am Going To Buy Two Little Children
If You Want To See A Strong Organization Look At The Whisky Dealers; If You Want To See A Weak One Look At The Consumers
I See Villainy In Your Face Said A Judge To A Prisoner
I Wonder What The Holes In A Porous Plaster Are For
There's One Peculiar Feature About The Trust Business
--so Ethel Is To Marry That Young Bob Halstey; Why He Has Been Jilted By Half A Dozen Girls