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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




MISTRESS--I am not quite satisfied with your references

Puns Home









MISTRESS--"I am not quite satisfied with your references."



APPLICANT--"Naythur am I, mum; but they's the best I could get!"











Next: What are you writing such a big hand for Pat

Previous: Girls and billiard balls kiss each other with just about the same amount of real feeling



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Puns

There Was A Young Woman Named Hannah Who Put On A Great Many Airs She Stepped On A Peel Of Banana And Now She's Laid Up For Repairs
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
Charley Dear Said Young Mrs
If You Want To See A Strong Organization Look At The Whisky Dealers; If You Want To See A Weak One Look At The Consumers
What Kind Of Essence Does A Young Man Like When He Pops The Question
Cohen Left The Ball-game
She Thinks That Her Husband Is Very Economical
The Old Lady Who Sent As Presents To A Newly-married Couple A Rolling-pin A Pain Of Flat-irons And A Motto Inscribed Fight On Must Have A Grudge Against Them
Some Of Us Have More Ups And Downs In This World Than Others But When We Get To The Cemetery We Will All Be On The Dead Level
Did You Have Any Trouble With Black Ants In Ireland Bridget
When The Curtain At The Theater Takes A Drop The Majority Of The Males In The Audience Go Out To Follow Suit
What Sort Of Labor Is Best Paid In This Country
What I Like About The Irish Is That They Are So Modest And Unassuming
Are Your Folks Well To Do
He Always Kneeled Before The Maid And Kissed Her Finger Tips; But He Lost Out
An Old-maid Being At A Loss For A Pin-cushion Made Use Of An Onion For The Purpose
I Don't Think My Religion Will Be Any Obstacle To Your Church He Urged; I Am A Spiritualist
Castles In The Air Are Walled In By Fancy Remarked The Poet
The Judge Asked An Irish Policeman Named O'connell When Did You Last See Your Sister
--so Ethel Is To Marry That Young Bob Halstey; Why He Has Been Jilted By Half A Dozen Girls
What's The Matter Here
Doing Anything Now Bill
If The Devil Lost Its Tail Where Would He Go To Get Another One
He Called Her An Angel Before They Were Wed But That Alas
A Cement Maker Advertises That His Cement Is Strong Enough To Mend The Break Of Day