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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




MISTRESS--I am not quite satisfied with your references

Puns Home











MISTRESS--"I am not quite satisfied with your references."



APPLICANT--"Naythur am I, mum; but they's the best I could get!"











Next: What are you writing such a big hand for Pat

Previous: Girls and billiard balls kiss each other with just about the same amount of real feeling



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Puns

So You Paid $1,000 For A Cook Stove
Me Eyes Is Crossed Sighed Kate
In This Glorious Land Of The Free You Always Have To Pay For The Drinks In Order To Get A Whack At The Free Lunch
What Relation Is A Door-step To A Door-mat
These Verses Make No Sense Said She; I Can't Tell What They Mean
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
A Cement Maker Advertises That His Cement Is Strong Enough To Mend The Break Of Day
Did You Hear The Story About The Peacock
Teacher--thomas Can You Tell Me Which Battle Nelson Was Killed In
She--they Say The Eyes Are The Windows Of The Soul I Believe
I Hear They Are Trying To Close Up The Gambling Establishments In New York
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
Friend Of Mine To-day Said Mr
The Detective At The Boarding House Table Having Satisfied Himself That Nobody Had Observed Him Folded Up His Magnifying Glass And Put It Back In His Pocket
Do You Think The Elevator Boy Stole Your Watch
I'll Never Ask Another Woman To Marry Me As Long As I Live
What In The World Shall I Do With The Baby John
Lawyer: Have You Conscientious Scruples Against Serving As A Juror Where The Penalty Is Death
Do You Think That As A Rule People Who Attend Theaters Are Superstitious
An Irishman Quarreling With An Englishman Told Him If He Didn't Hold His Tongue He Would Break His Impenetrable Head And Let His Brains Out Of His Empty Skull
He Has None Of The Finer Sensibilities Nothing To Distinguish Him From The Common Herd
Why So Glum Blumly
At A West End Hotel One Of The Party Asked: Have You Got Any Celery Waiter
Alas For All Their Ecstasy They Knew Not What Was Best: The Young Man Reached The Front Door The Old Man Did The Rest
Mary Had A Little Waist Where Waists Were Meant To Grow And Everywhere The Fashions Went Her Waist Was Sure To Go