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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




MOSES SCHAUMBURG (to his son Jackey)--How many are twice two Jackey

Puns Home









MOSES SCHAUMBURG (to his son Jackey)--"How many are twice two,

Jackey?"



JACKEY-"Tervice two ish six."



"You are wrong, Jackey. Six vas too mooch."



"Don't I know dot, fadder, already some times ago. But I shoot

said six so dot you could Chew me down."











Next: 'Tis now the wily urchin mocks The lynx-eyed cop along the docks And plunges in the cooling tide Arrayed in naught else but his hide

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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
An Emblem Of Tenuity We Witness Every Day; Behold The Corset-and You'll See The Whale-bone Comes To Stay
Lawyers Practice At The Bar While Bartenders And Mosquitoes Practice Inside Of It
Diner--hello
An Irish Doctor Advertises That The Deaf May Hear Of Him At A House In Liffey Street Where His Blind Patients May See Him From Ten Till Three
Letters From A Soldier Of Fortune--i
What Man In The Army Wore The Biggest Hat
Before Marriage Women Wants Tenderness
Did You Ever Hear About The Two Holes In Our Back-yard
Castles In The Air Are Walled In By Fancy Remarked The Poet
Tom--what's That
Maud--how Do You Define Love
Guard--i Suppose When You Were In The Army You Often Saw A Picket Fence
There Appears To Be No Affinity Between The Prestidigitator And The Theatrical Manager Yet They Both Make Passes
When I Was Eating My Dinner To-day The Butter Ran
Visitor--i Suppose You Have A Great Deal Of Poetry Sent Into You For Publication
In This Glorious Land Of The Free You Always Have To Pay For The Drinks In Order To Get A Whack At The Free Lunch
It Doesn't Do Any Good To Scold The Janitor About Our Cold Rooms
Can I Sell You A Nice Cheap Trunk To-day
Tomdick--i'd Like To Find Some Girl Willing To Marry Me
What Kind Of Essence Does A Young Man Like When He Pops The Question
When A Man Is Short Of Money He Finds Most Of His Friends Whom He Meets Short-sighted
Moses Schaumburg (to His Son Jackey)--how Many Are Twice Two Jackey
The Rapidity Of Ocean Transport Is Becoming Truly Marvelous
A Lady One Day Being In Need Of Some Small Change Called Down-stairs To The Cook And Enquired: Mary Have You Any 'coppers' Down There