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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
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Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




Now why remarked the little dog in speaking to the tree Would you say that the heart of you is like the tail of me

Puns Home









"Now, why," remarked the little dog, in speaking to the tree,

"Would you say that the heart of you is like the tail of me?"

The tree gave the conundrum up. The pup, with wisdom dark,

Explained the matter saying, "It is farthest from the bark."











Next: BUTCHER--I need a boy about your size and will give you $1 a week

Previous: Betty, why do you sit up at this hour of the night darning your stockings



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Puns

Newlywed-what Do Bachelors Know About Women
If A Woman Would Change Her Sex What Would Her Religion Be
Lawyer: Have You Conscientious Scruples Against Serving As A Juror Where The Penalty Is Death
At A West End Hotel One Of The Party Asked: Have You Got Any Celery Waiter
Did You Ever Hear About The Two Holes In Our Back-yard
My Girl's Father Is An Undertaker
That Tenor Of Yours Has A Marvelous Voice
Mrs
Actor Friend (inquiring At Boarding House)--has Mr
When The Penniless Lordling To Get A Rich Wife Of His Own Nationality Fails He Crosses The Ocean With Heart Light And Gay And Robs The United States Males
Yes He's Got A Flying-machine Ready For A Trial Now And He's Trying Hard Not To Be Proud
What Is Your Idea Of Happiness
It's Very Puzzling Said A Worried Looking Woman To One Of Her Neighbors
For Mercy Sake Don't Put Me Near Old Billions
What Makes Your Sister So Stout Now She Used To Be Very Thin
I'm The Champion Long Distance Cornet Player
That Young Gentleman Has A Very Taking Manner Said One Young Lady To Another At A Party Of A Young Man Who Had Just Left Them
Where Are You Going My Pretty Maid
How To Signal A Bark--pull A Dog's Tail
Says His Lordship To Thomas Your Rent I Must Raise I'm So Plaguily Pinch'd For The Pelf
When The Curtain At The Theater Takes A Drop The Majority Of The Males In The Audience Go Out To Follow Suit
Smith--they Say That After A Time The Engineer Of A Limited Flyer Loses His Nerve
Customer (to The Coal Dealer): Have You Got Any Name For Those Scales Of Yours
My Lord Said The Foreman Of An Irish Jury When Giving In His Verdict We Find The Man Who Stole The Mare Not Guilty
Fred--i Had A Fall Last Night Which Rendered Me Unconscious For Several Hours