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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




Now why remarked the little dog in speaking to the tree Would you say that the heart of you is like the tail of me

Puns Home









"Now, why," remarked the little dog, in speaking to the tree,

"Would you say that the heart of you is like the tail of me?"

The tree gave the conundrum up. The pup, with wisdom dark,

Explained the matter saying, "It is farthest from the bark."











Next: BUTCHER--I need a boy about your size and will give you $1 a week

Previous: Betty, why do you sit up at this hour of the night darning your stockings



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Puns

There's A Young Woman Who Makes Little Things Count
An Irishman Comes To This Country Remains Here Ten Years And Goes Back To Ireland And Dies
How About The Lazy Man Who Hurt His Eye Looking For Work
He--don't You Think Miss Plainly Is The Very Image Of Her Mother
I Asked A Young Lady Living On Her Pa's Farm What They Did With All Their Fruit
Everybody Knows A Woman Is Hard To Please
A Lady One Day Being In Need Of Some Small Change Called Down-stairs To The Cook And Enquired: Mary Have You Any 'coppers' Down There
First Senior--heard About Exsheff
'tis Now The Wily Urchin Mocks The Lynx-eyed Cop Along The Docks And Plunges In The Cooling Tide Arrayed In Naught Else But His Hide
The Glazier Is Not Necessarily A Tiresome Man Because He Gives You A Pane
Where Are You Going My Pretty Maid
He Dined Not Wisely But Too Well-- Hence All His Ills; And Nothing Now Agrees With Him Excepting Pills
This Life's A Game Of Chance They Say: The Saw's More Sad Than Witty The Public Gathers 'round To Play The Trust Controls The Kitty
Of The Heroine In One Of The Latest Sensational Novels It Is Said: Her Eyes Chained Him To The Spit
You Say His Wife's A Brunette
I Hear Smith The Sea Captain Is In Hard Luck
Moses Schaumburg (to His Son Jackey)--how Many Are Twice Two Jackey
Grace--fred And Mabel Are Not On Speaking Terms Any More
My Son Said The Good Old Man If You Only Work Hard Enough When You Undertake A Thing You're Bound To Be At The Top When You've Finished
Mary Had A Little Waist Where Waists Were Meant To Grow And Everywhere The Fashions Went Her Waist Was Sure To Go
Me Eyes Is Crossed Sighed Kate
The House A Lawyer Once Enjoy'd
First Doctor--well Doctor I Had A Peculiar Case To-day
I Saw De Castro The Magician Make A $20 Gold Piece Disappear In Three Minutes
There Appears To Be No Affinity Between The Prestidigitator And The Theatrical Manager Yet They Both Make Passes