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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Ah
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




Only the highest element in local society was invited to the ball

Puns Home











"Only the highest element in local society was invited to the

ball."



"Oh, I see! It was a high-ball."











Next: SHE--A writer says that in order to succeed a man must be ninety-five per cent

Previous: Massachusetts is noted for boots and shoes



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Puns

An Art-school Student Recently Painted The Picture Of A Dog Under A Tree So Lifelike That It Was Impossible To Distinguish The Bark Of The Tree From That Of The Dog
This Is Our Latest Novelty Said The Manufacturer Proudly
Old Lady (at A Ball Game)--why Do They Call That A Fowl
Diner--hello
Why Is A Kiss Like The Three Graces
Student--professor Which Is The Logical Way Of Reaching A Conclusion
After Wedding A Rich Heiress Price Said Gambling's A Terrible Vice But One Thing I Know This Matching For Dough Is A Thing That's Exceedingly Nice
'tis Now The Wily Urchin Mocks The Lynx-eyed Cop Along The Docks And Plunges In The Cooling Tide Arrayed In Naught Else But His Hide
Jones The Dentist Ought To Make A Good Poker Player
Cholly--ethel Knox Told Me Last Night I Wasn't Over Half-witted
Teacher--thomas Can You Tell Me Which Battle Nelson Was Killed In
Yes I Have Seen The Day When Mr
I Asked A Young Lady Living On Her Pa's Farm What They Did With All Their Fruit
Are You Engaged
In Choosing A Wife Said The Scanty-haired Philosopher One Should Never Judge By Appearances
Visitor--i Suppose You Have A Great Deal Of Poetry Sent Into You For Publication
Lady--why Do You Remove Your Sword Lieutenant
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
What Is Love
What Is The Meaning Of The Saying That A Man Shall Earn His Bread In The Sweat Of His Brow
The Doctor--you Regard Society As Merely A Machine Do You
In My Business Said The Stock Broker It Is Impossible To Succeed Without Pluck
Mrs
Telephone Operators Are Always Bound To Have The Last Word; That's Why Females Are Always Employed In That Capacity
The Rubber Plant Was Rubb'ring Round In A Manner Most Absurd: The Long Green Corn Prickled Up Her Ears And This Is What She Heard: Wot's Tomato Wid You You Beat