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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




Pat said one Catholic friend to another

Puns Home










"Pat," said one Catholic friend to another, "how would you like

to be buried in a Protestant graveyard?"



"Faith an' I'd die first!"











Next: --No matter how high an awning may be suspended it is only a shade above the street

Previous: When were walking-sticks first invented



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Puns

Irish Foreman To Gang Of Men In A Sewer: How Many Men Is Down In That Hole
They Say The Baby Looks Like Me A Circumstance I Dreaded But The Only Likeness I Can See Is That We're Both Bald-headed
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Nature Never Allows Anything To Run To Waist
As The Umpire Shouted Three Balls
An Irishman In Order To Celebrate The Advent Of A New Era Went Out On A Lark
The Rapidity Of Ocean Transport Is Becoming Truly Marvelous
Are Any Of The Colors Discernible To The Touch
She--you Used To Call Me The Light Of Your Life
When A Woman Finds Her Dress Does Not Match Her Complexion It Is Always Easy Enough To Change Her Complexion
What Have You Got To Say For Yourself
What Do You Think Of The Statement That There Are Three Hundred Haunted Houses In New York
Servant--the Plumber Says This Check Should Be $5 More
Mrs
The Barber--did I Ever Shave You Before
He--you Saw Some Old Ruins While In England I Presume
We Have German Bands And French Bands And American Bands But You Never Hear Of An Irish Band
An Irishman Quarreling With An Englishman Told Him If He Didn't Hold His Tongue He Would Break His Impenetrable Head And Let His Brains Out Of His Empty Skull
Bess--may Wears The Worst Clothes When She Is Riding Horseback
Young M
How Are You To-day
Yes Dear Said The Petted Young Wife Examining Her Christmas Gift These Diamond Earrings Are Pretty But The Stones Are Awfully Small
These Verses Make No Sense Said She; I Can't Tell What They Mean
The Hawk Was Dozing
An English Motorist Is Quoted As Saying That He Classed Pedestrians As The Quick And The Dead: Those Who Got Out Of The Way And Those Who Didn't