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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Ah
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




Pressed for work--cider

Puns Home











Pressed for work--cider.



Never out of print--the calico counter.











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Puns

It's A Dridful Bother To Me That I Have To Be Sewing Buttons On Me Own Clothes
I Know A Man Who Says He Can't Sit Down And He Can't Stand Up
Coleridge Who Was A Bad Rider Was Accosted When On Horseback By A Wag Who Asked Him If He Knew What Happened To Balaam The Same Thing That Happened To Me--an Ass Spoke To Him
A Watch's Fate Is Hard Indeed For When It's Not In Soak It's Set Back If It Gets Ahead And Scorned Whene'er It's Broke
You Never Bought A Gold Brick Did You
A Man Wanted A Ticket To New York And Only Had A $2 Bill
He--don't You Think Miss Plainly Is The Very Image Of Her Mother
Smith--they Say That After A Time The Engineer Of A Limited Flyer Loses His Nerve
Franklin--do You Know I Started In Life As A Barefooted Boy
He Used To Send Her Roses; He Sent Them Every Hour But Now They're Married And He Sends Her Home A Cauliflower
Sailors Are Not Fond Of Agricultural Implements Usually But They Always Welcome The Cry Of Land-hoe
My Friend Said The Long-coated Old Man Solemnly Have You Made Preparation For The Day Of Judgment
He Kissed Her On The Cheek; It Seemed A Harmless Frolic; He's Been Laid Up A Week-- They Say With Painter's Colic
Kind Lady Remarked The Weary Wayfarer Can You Oblige Me With Something To Eat
A Dude From St
Mirrors Reflect Without Speaking And Women Often Speak Without Reflecting
We Are Told That Gen
What Are You Writing Such A Big Hand For Pat
Why Are Pugilists Like Chickens
Why Do They Make Those Oriental Pipes With Bowls As Big As Water Pitchers
Servant--the Plumber Says This Check Should Be $5 More
As The Umpire Shouted Three Balls
Castles In The Air Are Walled In By Fancy Remarked The Poet
Mary Had A Little Waist Where Waists Were Meant To Grow And Everywhere The Fashions Went Her Waist Was Sure To Go
Why Is A Kiss Like The Three Graces