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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Ah
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




Say did you ever feel as if you wanted to 'hit the pipe

Puns Home











"Say, did you ever feel as if you wanted to 'hit the pipe?'"



"No, but I've often felt as if I wanted to hit the man who was

smoking it."











Next: It was this a-way jedge: Ye see I doled de cards and Jim Brown he had a pah of aces and a pah of kings

Previous: In choosing a wife said the scanty-haired philosopher one should never judge by appearances



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Puns

A Telephone Girl Always Reminds Me Of A Pictured Saint
Butcher--i Need A Boy About Your Size And Will Give You $1 A Week
For Years She'd Heard Her Husband Sadly Say: Can't We Have Pies Like Mother Used To Bake
Teacher--thomas Can You Tell Me Which Battle Nelson Was Killed In
Dearest She Murmured I'm So Afraid You'll Change
I Hear They're Going To Change The Name Of Central Park To Orchard Park
Did You Know That Xanthippe Wife Of One Of The Greatest Of Ancient Philosophers Was A Great Scold
If You Should Die What Would You Do With Your Body
Who Was The First One That Came From The Ark When It Landed
You Never Bought A Gold Brick Did You
And Did You Never Kiss A Girl Under The Mistletoe
Can I Sell You A Nice Cheap Trunk To-day
The Impecunious Young Man Who Marries A Girl With A Substantial Check Attached May Very Properly Be Said To Have Been Checkmated
I'm The Champion Long Distance Cornet Player
Smith--there Is Something That Will Never Be Boycotted By The Fair Sex As Long As Time Lasts
She--you Say Your Automobile Has Been Acting Strangely All Day
What Is The Best Way To Raise Cabbage
A Young Lady In Philadelphia Is Said To Have Had Five Lovers All Named Samuel
A Beautiful Lassie Named Florence Once Wept Till Her Tears Flowed In Torence
Say Did You Ever Feel As If You Wanted To 'hit The Pipe
Sentimental Wife--last Night I Dreamt That I Was In Heaven
You Ought To Sleep Well, You Lie So Easily
She--why Do They Call It An Arm Of The Sea
You Are Making Yourself Rather Officious In This Crowd Said A Burly Policeman To A Notorious Pickpocket
An Irishman Just Landed Seeing An Electric-motor Car Running For The First Time Exclaimed: Well Well Ould Nick Must Be Pullin' It Wid A String