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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




SPECIAL RULES FOR GUESTS

Puns Home











SPECIAL RULES FOR GUESTS.



1--Guests are requested not to speak to the dumb waiter.



2--Guests wishing to get up without being called can have

self-raising flour for supper.



3--The hotel is supported by a beautiful cemetery; hearses to

hire, 25c. a day.



4--Guests wishing to do a little driving will find a hammer and

nails in the closet.



5--If the room gets too warm, open the window and see the fire

escape.



6--If you're fond of athletics and like good jumping, lift the

mattress and see the bed spring.



7--If your lamp goes out, take a feather out of the pillow; that's

light enough for any room.



8--Any one troubled with nightmare will find a halter on the

bed-post.



9--Don't worry about paying your bill; the house is supported by

the foundation.



J. WISE, Prop.


















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Puns

No Indeed She Said I Can Never Be Your Wife
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When I Was Eating My Dinner To-day The Butter Ran
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Say Did You Ever Feel As If You Wanted To 'hit The Pipe
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Smith--i Notice That Robinson Has An Article In The Paper This Morning
I Must Admit Said The Mannish Girl That I'm Very Fond Of Men's Clothes
I Saw A Big Rat In My Cook-stove And When I Went For My Revolver He Ran Out
Diner--hello
This Is Our Latest Novelty Said The Manufacturer Proudly
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A Little Burn Makes A Big Smart Sometimes
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Boss Hab You Got Any Ob Dem Confound Cavortic Pills
Jackson Never Lights One Of His Cigars
My Son Said The Good Old Man If You Only Work Hard Enough When You Undertake A Thing You're Bound To Be At The Top When You've Finished
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
A Mechanic His Labor Will Often Discard
Teacher Of Drawing Class--willie Tell Me How You Would Make A Maltese Cross
Why The Bare Idea
He--then I Am To Understand That You Have Given Me The Mitten As It Were
There's A Great Art Says Mickey Dolan In Knowing What Not To Know Whin Yez Don't Want To Know It