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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
How Are You To-day

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What's The Matter Here
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws


Puns Home


1--Guests are requested not to speak to the dumb waiter.

2--Guests wishing to get up without being called can have

self-raising flour for supper.

3--The hotel is supported by a beautiful cemetery; hearses to

hire, 25c. a day.

4--Guests wishing to do a little driving will find a hammer and

nails in the closet.

5--If the room gets too warm, open the window and see the fire


6--If you're fond of athletics and like good jumping, lift the

mattress and see the bed spring.

7--If your lamp goes out, take a feather out of the pillow; that's

light enough for any room.

8--Any one troubled with nightmare will find a halter on the


9--Don't worry about paying your bill; the house is supported by

the foundation.

J. WISE, Prop.

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When A Couple Are About To Elope The Young Man Asks
He--the Bride Looks Radiant As Brides Usually Do
What Must A Man Be That He Shall Be Buried With Military Honors
He--you Saw Some Old Ruins While In England I Presume
Cleverton--miss Cutler Tells Me She Has Been Putting Quinine On Her Face Lately For Her Complexion
They Caught The Burglars That Robbed The Hotel Last Night
Franklin--do You Know I Started In Life As A Barefooted Boy
He--then I Am To Understand That You Have Given Me The Mitten As It Were
I Was At A Banquet Last Night
There Appears To Be No Affinity Between The Prestidigitator And The Theatrical Manager Yet They Both Make Passes
A Lady Noticed A Boy Sprinkling Salt On The Sidewalk To Take Off The Ice And Remarked To A Friend Pointing To The Salt: Now That's True Benevolence
Brown--i Hear That They Use All Sorts Of Materials In The Manufacture Of Illuminating Gas Nowadays
Why Do You Call Your Dog Hardware
Why Don't You Demand $50000 Instead Of $5000
She Heard The Fog-horn Blowing And What Is That
This Life's A Game Of Chance They Say: The Saw's More Sad Than Witty The Public Gathers 'round To Play The Trust Controls The Kitty
Where Are You Going My Pretty Maid
I've Been Pondering Over A Very Singular Thing
She (approvingly)--you Won Her Hand Then
Lovett--you Don't Believe In Divorce Then
An Irishman Just Landed Seeing An Electric-motor Car Running For The First Time Exclaimed: Well Well Ould Nick Must Be Pullin' It Wid A String
It Doesn't Do Any Good To Scold The Janitor About Our Cold Rooms
Say Dad What Is An Expert Accountant
John Can You Tell Me The Difference Between Attraction Of Gravitation And Attraction Of Cohesion
Aren't You Afraid Dear You'll Catch Cold In The Scanty Bathing Robe