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Whether Tall Men Or Short Men Are Best Or Bold Men Or Modest And Shy Men I Can't Say But This I Protest All The Fair Are In Favor Of Hy-men
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
Couples Making Love Will Beware Of The Rubber Plant
Ma What Is A Panama Man Called
Adversity Is Not Without Comfort--your Enemy May Be In Harder Luck Than You
Ah
Electricity Is A Great Educator
Yes There Is One Part Of The Dough-nut That Wouldn't Give You Dyspepsia
Mrs
How Are You To-day


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What's The Matter Here
Mrs
How By The Statesman Insincere Man's Weary Soul Is Vexed
When We First Dined At A Cafe We Feared They'd Drop Their Trays But Later We Learned Somewhat To Our Dismay It Takes--as Scores Of Men Will Say-- A Big Tip To Upset A Waiter
To-morrow Never Comes They Say; But All Such Talk Is Idle Gush For When We Have A Debt To Pay To-morrow Gets There With A Rush
Rowley Powley Pudding And Pie Kissed The Girls And Made Them Cry
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
He Was A Genial Smiling Man And Fond Of Whisky Plain But When He Joined The Temperance Club He Never Smiled Again
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws




SPECIAL RULES FOR GUESTS

Puns Home











SPECIAL RULES FOR GUESTS.



1--Guests are requested not to speak to the dumb waiter.



2--Guests wishing to get up without being called can have

self-raising flour for supper.



3--The hotel is supported by a beautiful cemetery; hearses to

hire, 25c. a day.



4--Guests wishing to do a little driving will find a hammer and

nails in the closet.



5--If the room gets too warm, open the window and see the fire

escape.



6--If you're fond of athletics and like good jumping, lift the

mattress and see the bed spring.



7--If your lamp goes out, take a feather out of the pillow; that's

light enough for any room.



8--Any one troubled with nightmare will find a halter on the

bed-post.



9--Don't worry about paying your bill; the house is supported by

the foundation.



J. WISE, Prop.


















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Puns

There Is A Presbyterian In Jersey City So Openly Opposed To Baptism By Immersion That He Refuses To Carry A Waterbury Watch
Visitor--oh What A Nice Parrot You've Got
Charlemagne Was In Need Of Amusement
She--you Used To Call Me The Light Of Your Life
My Dentist Has An Eagle Eye And Vicious Tools He Hacks With He's Clever But I've Come To Think He'd Make A Better Blacksmith
Who Was The First One That Came From The Ark When It Landed
Do You Think The Elevator Boy Stole Your Watch
I Was In The Depot Restaurant Of One Of The Great Railroads And Was Asked Why Am I Standing While Drinking My Coffee
There's One Peculiar Feature About The Trust Business
Charley Dear Said Young Mrs
Of All The Saws That I Ever Saw Saw I Never Saw A Saw Saw Like This Saw Saws
What A Fearful Night I Had When I Drew This Gun The First Time
That Was A Pretty Good Dog Story Wasn't It
Pa What Branches Did You Take When You Went To School
He Went On A Lark So His Wife Did Remark And Some Angry Words Too Did She Mutter
A Husband And Wife Are Considered One But It Is Useless To Try To Work That Gag On The Landlord When He Presents The Board Bill
Dearest Whispered Cordelia After She Had Captured The Coveted Solitaire I Have A Confession To Make
Customer (to The Coal Dealer): Have You Got Any Name For Those Scales Of Yours
Alas For All Their Ecstasy They Knew Not What Was Best: The Young Man Reached The Front Door The Old Man Did The Rest
According To A Florist's Magazine Jacks Are Becoming Cheap
How To Gain Flesh--buy Out A Butcher Shop
I Say Old Chap How Short Your Overcoat Is
I'll Never Ask Another Woman To Marry Me As Long As I Live
Sing Not To Me Of Falling Dew Upon The Purple Hills For I Am Worried Far Too Much By Falling Due Of Bills
What In The World Shall I Do With The Baby John